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The number of people who opt to live alone are increasing in many countries around the world


dinhquynhmai 3 / 5 4  
Jul 22, 2020   #1
Topic:
In some countries, more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past.

Do you think this is positive or negative development?



These days, the number of people who opt to live alone are increasing in many countries around the world. However, there are both pros and cons to deciding to do this. From my point of view, I believe that being single brings more negatives as compared to positives and I will discuss some of the reasons below.

Firstly, it is undeniable that freedom can be considered as the greatest benefit of going solo. Almost, people can reach their decisions by their own without being hindered or disturbing by someone. For example, people are completely free in decorating their spaces, creating their daily routine, and selecting attire, even dawdling outside all night and coming home at wee hours without complaint.

Despite the advantages above, I suppose the main disadvantage of monotone lifestyle is isolation and loneliness. Without advice and support from family or roommate, many adults find hard when coping with challenges since people are not master in all concerns. It is believed that connections with friends and family are important for people's health and emotional well-being. If people maintain their solo lifestyle for a long time, they may forget how to well behave or appease the others. Also, many adults may be propelled to crime if there is no consultation or encouragement provided by their family.

In conclusion, there are both positives and negatives of living alone. But I suppose it has more ill effects than merits. Living with the others may be difficult in some situation, but people should consider about it rather than living alone due to the reasons I discussed above.

Mary11 - / 2  
Jul 22, 2020   #2
Hi! there's a wide range of vocabulary and sentence structures in your essay. Here are my suggestions, hope it'll be helpful:

+ the number of people .... is increasing ...
+ reach their decisions by on their own
+ many adults find it hard when ...
+ Living with the others may be ...
+ but people should consider about it rather ....
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,031 2721  
Jul 22, 2020   #3
You should not be using so many casual phrases in this essay. The casual phrases, which remove the academic tone of the discussion are:
- going solo
- dawdling outside
- wee hours
- solo lifestyle

Since this is a singular opinion essay, you should be focused on proving only the validity of your opinion, which is that it brings more negatives than positives. You are not being asked to compare and contrast, so using that as the discussion format is incorrect. Neither would it be correct to discuss both the positives and negatives since you are being asked to present a single opinion. You also cannot discuss this as an Advantage v Disadvantage essay because that is not the focal point of the discussion. So your response format is incorrect.

You will only be scored for the parts of the essay that support your clear opinion which is that this is a negative development. That means, since you only wrote 264 words, your essay will fall under the minimum word count. You will be lacking a full reasoning paragraph because you did not focus solely on proving your point of view. Therefore, the essay will fail simply because of your incorrect response format based on the discussion requirements.
Tracy Tram 2 / 6  
Jul 28, 2020   #4
Hi. Sau đây là một vài suggestions của mình nha ^^:

- ...being hindered or disturbing disturbed
- the main disadvantage of ... is isolation and loneliness, ở đây có đến 2 uncountable nouns nên mình suggest là two main disadvantages of... are ...
- since people ->humans dùng từ people ở đây nghe có vẻ ko ok lắm với mình
Btw, bài của bạn có vốn từ rất phong phú.
Hope my suggestions helpful ^^


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