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Writing Task I, the number of tourist travelled abroad over one decade between 1985 and 1995


Delvisyendra 6 / 7  
Oct 30, 2016   #1
The given table shows information regarding the number of states tourist who travelled overseas during one decade from 1985 to 1995 years, measured in million. Overall, it is really important to notice that a high increase was experienced by Japanese tourists who visited other countries. While the number of Canada tourists plunged slightly in the last period.

Initially, in the first year Australia's proportion became the largest one among another state which reached seven point one million of people. It was followed by Canada's figure started at 6 million. While Japanese's level had lower proportion nearly five million of people.

Eventually, in the next following years Japanese's proportion abandoned the others which achieved 15 million. While the number of Australians who visited the other states experienced a stable level. In contrast, a slightly downward was seen in the number Canada's figure by five hundered thousand of people in the last year.




abangabul93 15 / 27  
Oct 30, 2016   #2
Hello @delvisyendra, I got some advice for your writing:

number of states tourist(S) who travelled overseas ...
...While (, while) the number of Canada ...

Initially, in the first year Australia's proportion became ...
While (, while) Japanese's level had ...

Eventually, in the next following years Japanese's proportion ...
While (, while) the number of Australians who ...
... Canada's figure by five hundered (HUNDRED) thousand of ...


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