Unanswered [9] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


darrenshan97 1 / 1  
Oct 12, 2022   #1
The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Please check my writing! Million thanks!

the figure of visitors in the Carribean

The line chart illustrates the figure of visitors each year from 2010 to 2017 in a Caribbean island.

Overall, the total number of people choosing the island as a holiday destination was almost always on a strong rise throughout the years. However, there were some differences in the trend between the tourists spending their time on cruise ships and those who chose to stay on the mainland.

In 2010, the number of visitors staying on the island was about 0.75 million, three times that of those staying on cruise ships. For the next three years, the former figure doubled to one and a half million, while the latter only saw slight fluctuations from a quarter to half a million.

From 2013 to 2017, the rate of people enjoying their time on the island witnessed a complete standstill at its old peak, it even dipped a little in 2016 before coming back to its previously constant record of 1.5 million in 2017. On the other hand, a remarkable upward trend happened to the number of visitors spending time on ships. In contrast to its stagnancy in the first three years, there was an increase by at least 0.5 and at most 1 million annually of this figure. In 2016 and 2017, the number finally surpassed its counterpart and reached a peak record of 2 million visitors.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15043 4827  
Oct 12, 2022   #2
This is not a task 2 essay. It is a task 1 essay of 150-200 words. With 225 words written, the writer has not done his sectional scores any favors. He has opened himself up to scoring deductions based on avoidable errors that would not have occurred had he not over written the task report / analysis. He must learn how to write shorter but comprehensible paragraphs to meet that requirement. I believe that this error happended because he used numerical word references in some aspects rather than just indicated the digit or numerical symbols for the numbers. Remember that editing, rewriting, and final formatting must be accomplished within 20 minutes. So what will be considered is the quality of writing provided rather than the word count or complexity of word usage. The task 1 essay does not need to be verbose.

its old peak

Which was? The writer is over describing the images instead of using direct descriptive words. He focused only on word usage in the hopes of creating a passing essay. Rather, his overuse of descriptive words rather than concise infomation sharing proved to be a problem for his essay. He exaggerated references, over stated facts, and clearly, tried to provide a vocabulary test rather than a reporting essay.
DanielDang 5 / 8  
Oct 16, 2022   #3
I think you were misunderstanding the graph information so therefore your overview and comparison were wrong. The time in this essay is year, in a period of 8 years, not day as you wrote. The graph also gave you the data about what type of travel of the customers, not how much time they spent on the holiday. In writing task 1, the overview is really important so please make sure that you have a great overview for higher mark.

Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳