Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

'numbers gone up' - Japanese tourists travelling abroad; IELTS - Charts


orxan88 5 / 8 2  
Mar 23, 2013   #1
The charts below illustrate the number of Japanese tourists who have travelled abroad and Australia's share in the Japanese tourist market respectively between 1985 and 1995.

In the first bar chart,the figures for Japanese tourists travelling abroad steadily increased from around 5 mln in 1985 to nearly 11 mln in 1990.After that,it slightly declined approximately 1 mln in 1991.Next,it was recovered and continued to rise and reached a peak to 15 mln tourists in 1995.

The second line graph indicates that, the quantity of Japanese tourists who travelled to Australia has shown a dramatical growth from around 2% in 1985 to by 5% in 1988.However,in 1989,it declined gently to by 4%.From 1989 to 1993,it was steadily rose and hit the highest point in 1993 by 7%,then gradually began to fall.

Overall,these charts show us that,the number of Japanese tourists and travellers to Australia of them,have substantially gone up over a ten year period.




dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 23, 2013   #2
In the first bar chart,the figures for Japanese tourists travelling abroad steadily increased from around 5 mln in 1985 to nearly 11 mln in 1990.After that,it slightly declined approximately 1 mln in 1991.Next,it was recovered and continued to rise and reached a peak to 15 mln tourists in 1995.

This is fine. But generally, you begin with explaining the overall trends and then expand on to more detailed information that is supported with facts and figures. You've done it at the last para in which you are supposed to write about what does this information suggest, not the observations;

Overall,these charts show us that,the number of Japanese tourists and travellers to Australia of them,have substantially gone up over a ten year period.

Hope this website would help you get a clear ideas as to how you should structure it; Overall, you've done a good job :)


Home / Writing Feedback / 'numbers gone up' - Japanese tourists travelling abroad; IELTS - Charts