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IELTS!! To obey rules or to have less rules? How to grow up?


MInchi 1 / 1  
Jul 15, 2012   #1
topic: Some people think children should obey the rules their parents and teachers set and listen to them, but others think less control will help children to deal with their future adult life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The relative importance of obeying parents' rules and getting less control from them is a frequent topic of discussion when people have an educational problem how to treat with our children better.

Apparently, the traditional way of educating children is to make them listen to the senior generation's order and follow the rules. The young generation may be naughty and unruly, or even be tempted to a criminal road, without the necessary and essential rules and guidance from their parents and teachers.

While, less order from the exterior may let children cultivate their own sense of self-control and self-management, which can straightly affect their adult life. The self-control helps children to have less drive to eat the whole bag of chips, and when they grow these children may have less possibilities to run off the credit cards.

In conclusion, it is impossible to view a kid as an adult at a young age, thus obeying the basic and necessary rules from the parents and teachers is beneficial to the young children in order to lead them to a right way to grow up. However, cultivating a sense of self-control and self-management is also a part of the process of being mature and growing up. The environment of less exterior order but more self-control may assist children to manage their future life.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jul 15, 2012   #2
The relative importance of obeying parents' rules and getting less control from them is a frequent topic of discussion when people have an educational problem how to treat with our children better.

Mention your opinion, either agree or disagree, at the end of the introduction. U should also state the reasons why you agree or disagree with the statement because the reader would find out that what issues are going to be discussed in the body if you let him/her know about the reasons (For more information google for "blueprint in writing essay")

Apparently, the traditional way of educating children is to make them listen to the senior generation's order and follow the rules. The young generation may be naughty and unruly, or even be tempted to a criminal road, without the necessary and essential rules and guidance from their parents and teachers.

What is the main idea of this paragraph? it is too vague and goes nowhere. Add an example and make your idea more apparent.

.affect their adult lifelives

The self-control helps children to have less drive to eat the whole bag of chips, and when they grow these children may have less possibilities to run off the credit cards.

I think you should elaborate on the paragraph and explain how they may control their senses and feelings. It is not clear.

in order to leadsteer them toward a right way through the children's journey of maturityto grow up

Regards
Ahmad
bingle2012 7 / 11  
Jul 15, 2012   #3
From IELTS point of view, it seems to me the introduction paragraph is a copy of the question to a large extent.
OP MInchi 1 / 1  
Jul 15, 2012   #4
Thank you for the concerning. The comments are really useful and clear.
Regards
Mint Fan


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