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It is observed that some languages is diminishing as time goes. Saving those or not?

summerlin 5 / 12 2  
Nov 22, 2017   #1
Some people think governments should spend money on saving languages with fewer speakers from dying our completely. Others thinks this is a waste of financial resources.

Discuss both views and give your own opinions. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

keeping languages from vanishing

It is observed that some languages is diminishing as time goes. Some people believe that it is governments duty to keep it from vanishing by financial aid, while others believe that the money should have a better usage. This essay will discuss both aspects and explain my opinion on this topic.

The world is fabulous by its multiple cultures. And a language usually represents its own culture. However, there are few of them is on its way to be history. It is important for governments to save them from dying out. Because once it is gone, it is impossible to regain the lost language. Language is a thing money cannot buy. There was a tribe of Taiwanese aboriginal called " Taroko". Due to the face that no one wanted to conserve their language and no one know how to do it. This unique culture of Taroko tribe are no longer exist. So as their special carving technique which can be transmitted orally only. If the governments could aware that before it occurred and funded the conservation of Taroko language, we would be able to admire those masterpiece today.

On the other hand, some people think that if a language is being used for fewer people that means it do not fit in our contemporary society anymore. Thus, there is no need to execute a budget for saving it. In addition, the money should be spent on solving more urgent issues such as eliminate famine. We can see that human culture were not developed until ancient people learn how to produce stable food supply. Therefore, to make sure every citizens have enough food is prior to saving a language has fewer people speaking.

I personally believe that culture diversity is what make he world full of excitement and joy and languages carry out cultures. Henceforth, I am completely agree with the idea that governments should spend money on saving languages with fewer speakers from extinguished.

40 mins, 344 words

chinkybehl22 10 / 25 4  
Nov 22, 2017   #2
Introduction is perfect.

However, after giving your opinion, you should also write a separate paragraph to conclude the essay. Conclusion should represent the gist of the discussion points of the essay

Moreover, there are a few grammatical and sentence construction which I would like to highlight:

1st paragraph:
... it is government's duty ...

2nd paragraph:
... Taroko tribe are is no longer exist.

3rd paragraph:
... used for fewer the few people ...

... culture were was not developed ...
... every citizens have has enough food ...

4th paragraph:
I personally believe that culture cultural diversity is ...
Henceforth, I am completely agree ...
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,832 2627  
Nov 22, 2017   #3
Sumerlin, your introduction is not perfect. In fact, you show that you did not understand the prompt discussion instruction at all, which just caused you fail this essay test. While your topic paraphrase is acceptable, you made a mistake in your thesis statement because you did not bother to understand what you were being asked to do in the essay. I have a strange feeling that you added an additional discussion instruction that was not included in the original essay prompt. The comparative discussion essay is not included when an "extent" essay is required. Are you sure you did not make a mistake with this prompt? Did you just create this prompt requirement on your own? If you did, then you made a mistake. When you discuss both points of view and then offer your own opinion, you can no longer give an "extent" of agreement or disagreement of the essay topic. At this point, I will have to stop reviewing your essay because I already know that a serious mistake was made in the prompt representation. As an examiner, I would automatically give you a failing score. I will not even try to read the essay to the very end because you obviously cannot follow English instructions of the simplest kind.

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