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Oil discovery has been most beneficial for people in Iran


somi 1 / 1  
Jul 2, 2014   #1
My country Iran is one of the most important country in the Middle East. We play an important role among the Asia's countries also. Our country is big in size and have oil industry which is essential for the whole world, such as vehicle's food, need for most industries, and more. Our country discovered the source of this black gold in south of Iran 100 years ago and it changed our life from that point for two important reasons.

First, this resources brought money and wealth for our country. As we know the oil sources are limited in some countries and the others are depended on them. We have been sold from 100 years a go and this money has benefit to individuals even, because this black Gold belongs to every one. For example we are paying tax less than others countries and for a while our families had not be charged for utilities even. The government built universities and schools for people. They can use them free. For Instance I graduated from Tehran university which is the biggest university of Iran. It was built more than 80 years ago, when the government fund this wealth. The benefit for us is that, it is still free for all service. We studied for 7 years then, it was our mission that works for others for free for 2 years, in order to share our wealth equal. Our government believe that we have to use this money ultimately. We should be thanks of god for this precious resources because if we didn't have this resources, I wouldn't have been pharmacist now with that money. As you can see oil discovery have changed our life.

Second, oil discovery makes an oil industry which makes lot of job for our people. When a industry is born in a country, need lots of people to run it. For example my grand father was working there from 65 years ago and retired after 30 years, then my uncle start working, now my cousin wants to enter this company. My grand father remember when this industry was born and how many people could get good job, these jobs provided better environment for their family, for example my uncle could get Master degree from the best university of Iran because my grand father provides better environment which let him, being educated. As we see through this experience the county's wealth has effect on families. The families life would be improved with this money.

As a result, Oil discovery not only did get wealth our country, it could makes lot of job opportunity for Iranian's people that improves our entire life.

adventure - / 2 1  
Jul 4, 2014   #2
My country , Iran, or My country -Iran -
one of the most important countries
100 years ago
less than other countries
OP somi 1 / 1  
Jul 14, 2014   #3
Thank you for your edition
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jul 14, 2014   #4
My country Iran is one of the most important countrycountries in the Middle East. We play an important role (??? in what? you need to specify) among the Asia'sAsian countries also. Our country Iran ( avoid the repetition of "my country", " our country") is bigquite large in size and haveplays a significant role in the world's oil industry which is essential for the whole world, such as vehicle's food, need for most industries, and more.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Jul 24, 2014   #5
not only

is followed by but also as pair conjunction

When a industry is born in a country, need lots of people to run it.

this needs subject and verb agreement

For example

make sure that each paragraphs contains one specific example. To have this one, you'd better focus on journalistic questions, by asking these: how many? what? who? when? result? By this, I am sure that you can write a specific example. Good luck
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Jul 25, 2014   #6
We should be thanks of god for this precious resources because if we didn't have this resources, I wouldn't have been pharmacist now with that money.

We are very grateful to an abundant oil supply given by the almighty. It effects the future nation prosperity generally and the economical statue of my family specifically. As result, my father can school his children to gain a professional position. For instance, I work as the pharmacist nowadays.

Hopefully my assistance can increase the essay's coherence.

didn't

wouldn't

avoid contraction in the formal writing


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