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IELTS: Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation's history.


Eva Novita Sari 47 / 71 2  
Apr 30, 2014   #1
Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation's history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones.

How important is it to maintain old buildings?
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As we know, every country has history about old builds. That builds are keeping by government with law that they are permanent to be protected. Those are part of a nation's history. However, some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones.

Firstly, some people want to change old build in their country with new build. For example, in the village have many history's houses such house Aceh that is built by using wood and roof from leave, this house is calm and natural. But it is several ten years ago. However, nowadays, many people change their house by establishing build from cements, bricks, and roof from iron. It is very hot if we stay in there. With the result, they should buy fan or AC to condition cold. This is not comfortable and safe because if the electricity turns off, they will feel heat again.

Secondly, some people think they should not change their build. For example, in my country there is a build that is never changed. Located is in Economy college in the Syiah Kuala University which this college has older than other colleges in this University. Until now, this college is not yet changed. However, this college is still hefty than new build that is build now. Therefore, some people who have social status in this University do not want to change. Then, every people or Alumni from this University who come to there can remember about history in this build.

In conclusion, it can be conclude that we should keep old build as history because history remembers experience that is very value. With the result, new person in there can know about history. Then, in fact, old build is heftier than new build.
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Apr 30, 2014   #2
As we know, every country has history about old builds.

Every country has old buildings which are a masterpiece with a wonder architecture.

That builds are keeping are kept by government with law that they are permanent to be protected.

it should passive voice.
A law is made by government to maintain the historical buildings as a part of nation's history and a heritage.

some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones.

you should restatement this prompt.
Kelly219 2 / 4 1  
Apr 30, 2014   #3
As we know, every country has history about old builds
in my opinion, you should write: "It is true that every building has its own historical story"
That builds are keeping by government with law that they are permanent to be protected.
you should passive voice: These buildings are preserved by legislation
Located is in Economy college in the Syiah Kuala University which this college has older than other colleges in this University
you should rewrite this sentence, I do not understand it

Vocabulary : you should look up a English - English dictionary before you use a word.
build (v)
build (n): the shape and size of human being (from Oxford dictionary)
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Apr 30, 2014   #4
Firstly, some people want to change old build in their country with new build.

You need to pay lots of attention to your grammar :( Let me rephrase this line;
First, some people would want to replace the old buildings with new and more modern buildings.

For example, in the village have many history's housesthere are many houses with historical value such as house Aceh that ishad been built by using wood and roof from leaves, this house is calm and natural.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Apr 30, 2014   #5
You need to pay lots of attention to your grammar

Yes, throughout your essay this is very obvious. Start with making simple grammar error free sentences and gradually make more complicated sentences. Grammar is a very very important aspect in essay writing and with bad grammar you may lose lots of points.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Apr 30, 2014   #6
(1) In conclusion, it can be conclude that we should (2) keep old build as history because (3) history remembers experience that is very (4) value . With the result, (5) new person in there can know about history. Then, in fact, (6) old build is heftier than new build .

Notes:
(1) In conclusion and it can be conclude have the same meaning. Omit one of them. Otherwise, they show redundancy
(2) Write preserve instead of keep
(3) Does not make sense. Redo this part.
(4) How do you measure the value from the interesting quality?
(5) This phrase needs an article. Write a new person
(6) Rewrite this part
upinipin 32 / 49 1  
May 1, 2014   #7
your idea out of topic
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
May 9, 2014   #8
Secondly, some people think they should not change their buildings . For example, in my country there is a building that ishad never changedgone through any change .

You need to tell why such buildings should be preserved as they are. You need to align your writing more with the prompt.


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