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IELTS-2 : Should we let old languages die?

naomi1993 1 / -  
Jun 10, 2019   #1
Every year several languages die out Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

we must save dying tonges

Since long time ago, English has became the most important language in the world, no matter where you are, you can communicate with others in English. But all the other languages are also important, although it may not spread far away or even die out.

Firstly, if this country or region have their own language that means they have their own culture also means they live a place which can not connect other places well. For young people, they may have chance to learn a new language, which may be the popular language, but for old people, it's difficult for them to learn a new language and if their own language die out, they will be inconvenient to live. It's unnecessary for old people to learn a new language and let their own language die out. We have to protect their own language to make their old people live convenient.

Secondly, language is an important part of the human culture, all the languages record human history and life, even the languages die out also have this ability, languages are all important, we have to protect all of them to make sure all the cultures have been recorded, it can help future humans to understand us.

Thirdly, we need to admit that popular language in the world is necessary, it will make our connect with the world connection closer, meanwhile, we also should protect the rare languages to protect our human culture.

In summary, all the languages are important to us, we have to protect all of them to make sure our culture been recorded.

PS: My Writing skill is horrible I think, at latest Ielts test I did was only 5 score, hope you can give me some helpful advice, thanks!

Wendynguyen803 3 / 5 2  
Jun 10, 2019   #2
Hello there @ naomi1993
I see that you're new here and haven't got any experiences so I'll give you some feedbacks about your essay.
The most important is that the introduction is not mentioned about your opinion since the question is "To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?" I think you should include your view point in the introduction to make clear what you'll say next.

Ex: In my opinion/In my perspective, while I accept that it might be easier for human to have less languages, I would argue that other unpopular dialects are also important.

Furthermore, since this essay is asking about two sides of the idea so you should have at least two paragraphs to state each sides: one for your agreement and one for the others.

Well that's all I got for you, make sure that you'll try your best to improve writing skill
Good lucks, good days ^^
manhmoc 3 / 5 5  
Jun 10, 2019   #3
Dear @naomi1993
I can see that you are still unfamiliar with the concept of academic writing, as there are several basic mistakes.
For example:
1. The first paragraph should be where you restate the opinion in the topic in you way, which is called "paraphrase". Next, carefully read the question, it asked "to what extent do you agree or disagree", that means it expects from you your point of view: strongly agree, agree, disagree or strongly disagree. Don't wander into "how important languages are".

2. There are still grammatical mistakes, "if this country or region have their ..."

3. DON'T ever use the shortened form of the verbs in an essay. "It is", not "it's".
I think you still have a lot to do, but don't be disappointed when reading these. I have been there. We also have to be critical to improve.

We stand by you.
Dang Khoa 11 / 42  
Jun 11, 2019   #4
Hi there :). Honestly, if i was u, i would find more information bout writting in IELTS, there are many forms and complicated, but all have a formula. When you have acknowledge that formula, u will have the ability to write an essay without going the wrong side with the prompt. I think you are new here so my suggestions would be the best for you :). Just come here and write to take professional suggestions u know like from 6.0 to higher. But when you dont have the background... i think you should build it :D. So good luck and hope you do better in writting :)!
Maria - / 1,100 389  
Jun 12, 2019   #5
HI there Naomi!

Your writing is not horrible. There's always room for you to grow in your writing. Just keep going!

I'll try to provide a comprehensive feedback for your essay.

First and foremost, evade rambling when you are writing. Having a structure and following through with it is quite essential when you are writing, considering that it would help you establish more directed meaning that'll add critical depth and analysis to your writing. Doing this will help you have more balanced content that'll help you when you are writing.

Having said that, let me revise a small portion of your essay.

Firstly, if this a country or region has have their own language, they would have hold of their own culture. that means ... places well. ..., they may have chance ... language,; but for old people, it's difficult for them to learn a new language and if their own ... to live. ... new language and to let their own language die out. We have to protect their our own language to make their ... convenient. add convenience to peoples' lives.

I think that the overall direction of your thesis statement can be improved. If you are able to focus more on defining the extent of your content, you'll have more of a patterned structure to follow

Best of luck as always in your writing endeavors!
acynguyen0909 3 / 7 1  
Jun 16, 2019   #6

I would like to give you my personal opinion about your essay.

First of all, this is the agree or disagree type, hence you have to put your own opinion in the first paragraph.
You can focus on the points you have made into two main points. The first is to maintain the culture of each nation. The second is other issues that can affect when changing your mother tongue as the life of the elderly, etc.

Let's try to practice more everyday!
Hope you will advance your skill.
oneouran 6 / 13 4  
Jun 26, 2019   #7
English has became become the ..
live a place which can not cannot connect ...
own language dies out, they ...
people live conveniently.
.. it will make our connection with the world.

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