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IELTS: Older people should live with their families or at a nursing home


MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jul 4, 2013   #1
Topic: Currently more and more people respect elders and become convinced that older people should live with their families, which is in contrast to the view that older people should live at a nursing home. What is your opinion?

Some people claim that elderly care should be provided by nursing homes these days. In my opinion, senior citizens are advised to live with their descendants by dint of their needs of emotional support as well as the responsibility of younger family members.

To begin with, one reason for the elders to stay with their families is that they are likely to suffer loneliness if they reside at nursing homes. While nursing homes are capable of supplying a variety of professional service, they fail to provide a sense of community for their residents. In fact, senior people have to integrate into an alienated environment unlike their formerly surrounding. Besides, various people struggle to establish friendships with their roommates due to characteristic differences. Coupled with living away from their family members and friends, it seems that their loneliness is potentially fostered.

Additionally, it should be noted that younger members of the family are suggested to take responsibility for their elders. Elderly people used to experience a hard time of raising their children and grandchildren. Furthermore, they were responsible for teaching initial lessons for their descendants such as how to speak and how to behave. By taking care of the elders, in turn, can the young generations express their respect and gratitude towards their seniors. In most Asian countries, looking after the elderly people is regarded as an obligatory duty of individuals. That is to say, from a moral perspective, it is essential that older adults should stay with their families.

To sum up, I would have to reiterate the necessity of the elderly people living with their family members. Not only do they feel a sense of interaction but also their descendants will have an opportunity to show their filial piety.

Could you give me feedback on this essay? Thanks in advance.

fred123 6 / 8 2  
Jul 4, 2013   #2
one reason for the elderselderly to stay with their families is that they are likely to suffer loneliness if they reside at nursing homes

elderly is different to elder

:)
OP MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jul 4, 2013   #3
elderly is different to elder

Thank you Freddo. But I think elder also means an aged person. Could you explain the difference between these words to me?
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Jul 5, 2013   #4
Some people claim thatelderly care should be provided by nursing homes these days.

...."care for the elders"

In my opinion, senior citizens are advised toshould live with their descendantsfamiliesby dintbecause of their needs of emotional support as well as the responsibility of younger family members.

well... "your opinion" and "someone else's advice" seem to be clashing ideas. Also, be careful when you use synonyms. They do have similar meanings but used to give different impressions. For example, the words "smile" and "laugh" are used to describe very different situations;

When you meet a person, you smile at him. That's the polite way to greet him. But if you laugh at this person, he would be very upset because that's a rude gesture.

So, use the words only if you are sure about their usage.
OP MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jul 6, 2013   #5
be careful when you use synonyms

Thank you, Pahan! I will try to improve my word usage. I sometimes misuse some synonyms in my essay :(
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Jul 7, 2013   #6
yes... it is important to have the most appropriate word to express what you want. Don't worry, you can keep improving. Reading is the best way to improve your vocabulary because then you feel the whole expression together with new words. Keep practicing and post all your new essays here. I will try my best to help you improve... hopefully, i'll have free time for you in coming weeks :)
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jul 7, 2013   #7
Some people claim that elderly care should be provided by nursing homes these days.

In my opinion, senior citizens are advised to live with their descendants by dint of their needs of emotional support as well as the responsibility of younger family members.

In my opinion, people should not be abandoned by their families in their old age during which they need more emtional support than any other period in life.

To begin with, one reason for the elders to stay with their families is that they are likely to suffer loneliness if they reside at nursing homes.

...very true. This is the main problem they face while living away from loved ones. So give more emphasis to this fact in your sentence;

To begin with, it is the lonliness that elders feel is the main reason for supporting the idea that elders should live with their own families and not with care takers. They suffer lonliness more than all other physical ailments during their old age.


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