I really like to read your essay, it is very easy to understand. There is no serious grammatical error, and you give an example in every idea you have made, but i hope in next essay, you will give us more global example and not just take from your country. Yeah, it's good, but try something more famous maybe better than local place that everybody did not know exactly where is it.One quick note, you should pay more attention to give an article a, an, and the to several words.
However, some consider that (The) government should allocate more funds to improve education facilities and modernize the health care amenities.
For example, Trans Studio Bandung is Then, pay more attention to give a space after comma and full stop.
an(a) large and popular building in Bandung.
There are many features are provided by the building, such as (an) indoor amusement park, mall, and food court. After the building were built in 2011, it eventually became one of the city icons and tourist destinations.
The government wants to present the city to the tourists, and tries to persuade them to come and visit the buildings.(give a space) The number of tourists who
Without those facilities,(give a space here) it will decline townsfolk's quality of life.Gramatical error
After the building were (was) built in 2011, it eventually became one of the city icons and tourist destinations.