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which one have an important role in order to success of students in school?classmate or parents?


hamedmas 27 / 58 19  
Sep 12, 2014   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Classmates are more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

School is almost the second home for all students. Students learn many lessons from their classmate and teachers to succeed during living in the school. However, from my point of view, family's support is the main reason, which cause students become successful in the schools. Parents support their students financially and emotionally in order to make a suitable place for success of their children in the school.

To begin, parents support their children financially by sending them to top schools and providing children's demands. Without family's support, most children would never provide their own basic demands. Parents pay their expenses such as tuition, or buying their books, etc. There are few students, on the other hand, can provide their own needs by working out of school. However, most of these students could not continue their education because they could not focus on both their study and work.

Second, most parents show affection for their children while they are studying. They support their children emotionally during the school day by accompanying them everywhere. They try to help children to understand the studies. They always cooperate with teachers, who taught their children, by going to school repeatedly.

Parents are the the best models for their children. Children always try to copy their behavior, because parents have strong influence on their children. However, children may have close friends in their school, but they always try to learn the basic rules from their parents.

These are but a few reasons why parents have a key role to succeed of the students. However, other people can affect students to become successful in the school, but, as I mentioned before, School is the second home for students, therefore the first home have the basic and important position to provide basic demands, which are necessary for students to succeed.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 12, 2014   #2
Some notes and suggestions for you to consider :-)

School is almost the second home for all students. Students learn many lessons from their classmate and teachers to succeed during living in the school. However, from my point of view, family's support is the main reason, which cause students become successful in the schools. Parents support their students financially and emotionally in order to make a suitable place for success of their children in the school.

- School is almost a second home for students. Their classmates become almost an extension of our families. We spend as much time with each other almost as we do our own siblings. We learn from each other and support each other. However, our parents are still the most influential people in our lives. It is their support and influence that helps us to succeed in all our undertakings. That is why I believe that the family and the support they offer is more important than that of our classmates.

- Hamed, you are definitely improving in the way you present your ideas. It is becoming quite clear and you have also learned to present your thesis statement in your introduction paragraph.

To begin, parents support their children financially by sending them to top schools and providing children's demands. Without family's support, most children would never provide their own basic demands. Parents pay their expenses such as tuition, or buying their books, etc. There are few students, on the other hand, can provide their own needs by working out of school.However, most of these students could not continue their education because they could not focus on both their study and work.

- Parents unconditionally support their children in all aspects of their lives, including the undeniable expense of their education. Children would not have access to these foundations of success if their parents were not willing to undertake the preparations for them, regardless of the cost.

- Please develop this idea some more and do not mention anything about self supporting students because that deviates from the prompt.

Second, most parents show affection for their children while they are studying. They support their children emotionally during the school day by accompanying them everywhere. They try to help children to understand the studies. They always cooperate with teachers, who taught their children, by going to school repeatedly.
Parents are the the best models for their children. Children always try to copy their behavior, because parents have strong influence on their children. However, children may have close friends in their school, but they always try to learn the basic rules from their parents.

- Parents are always the biggest supporters of their children in anything the child wishes to succeed in. Whether it be emotional or moral support, the parents give everything they have in order to make sure their child feels that love and support whenever they need it. The do this much more so when it comes to supporting their academic needs and quests. They provide the extra hours of study with a tutor, remedial class fees, participation fees, and cover any other expense that the academic needs of their children require. They work with the teachers, coaches, tutors, instructors, and anyone else who can help their child academically achieve.

-Hamed, the idea is nice but the presentation is too simple. You need to learn to develop stronger paragraphs that pick the strongest arguments to support your case.

These are but a few reasons why parents have a key role to succeed of the students. However, other people can affect students to become successful in the school, but, as I mentioned before, School is the second home for students, therefore the first home have the basic and important position to provide basic demands, which are necessary for students to succeed.

- You missed out on comparing the influence of friends and classmates on the success of a child. You should have mentioned that in comparison to the parents as a separate paragraph. This conclusion introduces a new idea at the end, which you know is not acceptable in any essay form. You need to revise this to only deal with your summary of facts and reiteration of your stand.
nickyzhi 8 / 21 8  
Sep 12, 2014   #3
hey hamed,

vangiespen has pointed out your question about idea, but I want to say some thing at different direction.

As far as I know, if you are not good at writing, then the way of high score is to extent your essay of TOEFL test. That is, write more words and enrich your every paragraph, that's just my advice.

Sorry I am not native, so I can not point out more questions than vangie, but I still want give you suggestions as before, good luck:)
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 12, 2014   #4
Hamed and nickyzhi, I have taken the TOEFL and I passed it on my first try with flying colors in all the test sections. So I know what I am talking about. That is why I am very familiar with the requirements of the test. I know what they are looking for and how to score well in the essay portion because I have the personal experience of having to have written a complicated essay based on American history and inventions within 30 minutes. You need to be able to understand the prompt and express yourself well when taking the essay test because it is a major part of the grading system for the test. Just writing anything in order to fill in 30 minutes or fill the paper will not work because a human being not a computer, the examiner on the other side of the world, is going to review the essay you wrote and grade it. I would hate for you to find that out the hard way. There is more at stake here than just "winging it" during the essay portion of the test. Without comprehension, grammar, and written skills,and knowledge of American culture and traditions, add to that some knowledge of current world events, it will be very difficult for you to pass the exam. So you need to take your practice essays very seriously. Taking the TOEFL is no joke and the wonderful feeling you get when you finally find out that you passed is a sensation you will never forget or experience again in your life :-)
OP hamedmas 27 / 58 19  
Sep 12, 2014   #5
- Hamed, you are definitely improving in the way you present your ideas. It is becoming quite clear and you have also learned to present your thesis statement in your introduction paragraph.

I do not know how to thank you Louisa :)
I read your notes and suggestion carefully. I agree with you about missing out a separate paragraph about influence of classmate on child's success.because the conclusion I write , introduce new idea :)

Thank you Dear Lousia. I think you are living in the US as I will live there!

Sorry I am not native, so I can not point out more questions than vangie, but I still want give you suggestions as before, good luck:)

Thank you Dear nickyzhi, I agree that I should enrich every paragraph and increase words for every writing.
OP hamedmas 27 / 58 19  
Sep 12, 2014   #6
Hamed and nickyzhi, I have taken the TOEFL and I passed it on my first try with flying colors in all the test sections. So I know what I am talking about. That is why I am very familiar with the requirements of the test.

Thank you for your notes. As far as I know , TOEFl exam is not only English exam! It evaluates how to use your English language and your knowledge about everything.

Ms Louisa, I would like to give me some advice personally about speaking skill in the TOEFL. I know this forum is just about writing, but if it is possible, please give me an email in order to to speak :)

Actually I will be in the US in December and I have a short time :)
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 12, 2014   #7
Hamed, that is exactly why I told you that you need to know about American and world history, with an emphasis on current events, in order to successfully complete the TOEFL test. You never know which kind of essay prompt you might get. Each examinee will have a different exam set of questions to answer, and that includes the essay portion. You can't just fill the essay with words to meet the word and time requirement. The words and sentences need to make sense collectively as a paragraph and connect to the prompt.

TOEFL will test your English skills to its maximum potential. That is why you need to practice with grammar tests, essays, and speed reading. All the tests are under a time constraint. So the faster you can read and understand in English, the more time you will have to compose or choose your answer. Unfortunately, the forum rules don't allow me to give you my email address :( So we can only converse here at the forum and in public so that everyone here can participate in helping you achieve your best potential before you take the test :-) Don't worry, I promise to do my best to help you practice and develop your writing skill. We are all here to help you :-)

The key to the TOEFL review and training is simply, read, understand, write an opinion. Also, try to do grammar tests. These should cover spoken English and written English. So watching English language films and shows are a must. Don't confine yourself to the practice essays. You will find out if you are truly improving by writing your own opinion essays based on topics or books that you read. Of course the materials have to be English based :-)
OP hamedmas 27 / 58 19  
Sep 12, 2014   #8
The key to the TOEFL review and training is simply, read, understand, write an opinion. Also, try to do grammar tests. These should cover spoken English and written English. So watching English language films and shows are a must. Don't confine yourself to the practice essays. You will find out if you are truly improving by writing your own opinion essays based on topics or books that you read. Of course the materials have to be English based :-)

I know what you say. I would like to see movie, But I Have to focus on exam now, because there is no time remained to the exam!

Unfortunately, the forum rules don't allow me to give you my email address :(

I know! :( but if you could send me an Email to hamedmasaeli ...gmail. :D

So we can only converse here at the forum and in public so that everyone here can participate in helping you achieve your best potential before you take the test :-) Don't worry, I promise to do my best to help you practice and develop your writing skill. We are all here to help you :-)

Thank you for helping. you and all people here always show more affection for me:)
nickyzhi 8 / 21 8  
Sep 13, 2014   #9
Thank you vingie,

It is regretful that I don't know how to give a simple "like" to you.. if it can express I am thankful. And I am not so clear about the format of replying..lol..so embarrassed for me..


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