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a one-page essay (how you relax after getting home from school or work.)


Zubaida 18 / 35  
Sep 24, 2010   #1
Write a one-page essay describing how you relax after getting home from school or work. Start the first sentence with "After" or "When". Start the second sentence with the word "Next". Proceed as you wish after that.

That is What I Do When I Get Home
(Is it a good title? if it isn't, help me with a suitable one)

When I get home every day from my school at 1:30 clock, I 'm as if I were swimming in a pool of sweat. I take off my shoes and my socks, for my sweaty feet are begging for air. Next, I immediately headed to the kitchen to greet my mother, who is cooking lunch, and kiss her right hand and her head. Trying to lessen the extreme hot, I sit on the chair in front of the air-conditioner and drink three glasses of water. As I feel a little refreshed, I go to my room, put my bag on my desktop, pick up bathrobe, and go quickly to the bath to take a warm shower. In the bathroom, I wash my white socks in the sink by myself and hung them behind the bathroom door to be dried, so I can wear them the next day. Then, I take off my school's uniform and throw it in the washing machine. To get rid of all dirt and sweat, I wash my body with hot water and perform ablution. Before going out of the bathroom, I turn on the washing machine. After this warm refreshing bath, I feel relaxed. I wear a comfortable robe and pray Zuhr Prayer. Then, I head immediately to the kitchen, where I find my mom finished cooking lunch meal, and prepare the dining table. I put the pots, dishes, spoons, forks, and glasses on the table. As I finished, I call all my family members to come for lunch. During the lunch, each one of my family talks about his day. After enjoying a delicious lunch, I pick up the utilities, wipe the table, and wash the dishes. On my way to my room, I take my school uniform from the washing machine, dry it, and then iron it. Now, it's time to check my email and enjoy reading letters from friends. I also listen to the newscast that comes on Al-Jazeera Channel. Next, I lay on my warm bed, open my favorite magazine, and read different articles. As I finally recite some prayers softly to relax and soothe myself, I fall into a deep sleep with happy dreams. See you later!

KathyLala 20 / 116  
Sep 24, 2010   #2
Here are my ideas
=>...When I get home every day from my school at 1:30 p.m, I 'm sweat as if I were in a swimming pool.
=>...Next, I immediately head (use present tense, but I like to use "step") to the kitchen to greet my mother
=>...To get rid of all dirt and sweat, I wash my body with hot water and perform ablution (You just took a shower, why you wash your body again?????)

=>...where I find my mom already finished cooking lunch meal, and prepared the dining table
=>...each of my family members talks about his or her day
OP Zubaida 18 / 35  
Sep 24, 2010   #3
Thank you for your suggestions.
To get rid of all dirt and sweat, I wash my body with hot water and perform ablution.
(You just took a shower, why you wash your body again?????)
In my religion, I should perform special ablution to pray. If I eliminate this deatail, I should also eliminate that I pray Zuhr prayer in the next sentence.

where I find my mom already finished cooking lunch meal, and prepared the dining table
I prepare the dining table, not my mother. It should be ( prepare in the present tense. Right???)

Thank you
KathyLala 20 / 116  
Sep 25, 2010   #4
"where I find my mom already finished cooking lunch meal, and prepared the dining table
I prepare the dining table, not my mother. It should be ( prepare in the present tense. Right???)"

If this is a case, then I guess you have to work a little bit because it's confuse. You say that your mom is cooking when you are preparing the dinner, so 2 actions happen at the same time, you can use "while"; example (my mom cooks luch meal while I am preparing the dinning table) OR

Then, I step immediately into the kitchen, where I find my mom has finished cooking luch meal. She asks me to prepare the dining table...
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,337 129  
Sep 27, 2010   #5
What I Do When I Get Home

When I get home every day from my school at 1:30, it is as if I am swimming in a pool of sweat.

I take off my shoes and my socks, for my sweaty feet are begging for air. Next, I immediately head to the kitchen to greet my mother, who is cooking lunch, and kiss her right hand and her head.

Trying to lessen the extreme heat, I sit on the chair in front of the air-conditioner and drink three glasses of water.

I wash my white socks in the sink by myself and hang them behind the bathroom door to be dried, so I can wear them the next day.

As I finish, I call all my family members to come for lunch. During the lunch, each one of my family members talks about his day.

Nice job! Only small mistakes...

:-)


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