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'one and only one' - some people are born with certain talents

sweetheart87 11 / 31  
Jan 26, 2011   #1
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports and music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
(250 words)

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii to everyone!!!! I wrote my essay!!!! Please, is someone there that is so nice to check it?!
Pleasee pleaseee, I will greatful for ever!

[b]Many people believe that someone are born with a special talent, a "gift", for example in a particularly field such as art.

Many people believe that someone are born with a natural talent, a gift, for a particular fields such as art, music or sport and that they have a duty to improve it. Others, instead, think that anyone can acquire some skills and become throughout their life an artist, a musician or something they want.

For understand the first view, I ask to myself : Can I think about Paris without the masterpiece of Leonardo? Certainly not! We can't imagine our world without important artists, musician or scientist that have changed our world. If it be so, our conception of world would have been totally different.

On the other hand, other people think that any child can improve their skills to become an artist or musician or what they want. I think it is possible only with a great dedication and work. For my experience I can say that it is very difficult. I learned to draw when I was fourteen.

When I attended high school, I dedicated five years to improve my drawings. I wasn't able to draw something with my only imagination. I copied other designs of the great artists such as Botticelli, Raffaelo, Michelangelo. But when I stayed in front of my white canvas I wasn't able to paint something that was only mine. I learned to draw, but I do not have that touch of one who has a great talent.

In conclusion, I think that talent is one and only one, but it is so rare and moreover, it should be developed by persons who own it. Despite that, anyone can learn to become a great artist with a work consistently and full dedication.
aspasiakor 2 / 8  
Jan 26, 2011   #2
well ilaria, its me ASPA again. you need some improvements. first of all, in the intro we rewritte the given issue by changing words and also give our opinion.

second the issue is about if someone can be so good as one other who is a talent by nature. so i believe that your first paragraph is out. also in the second paragraph you should not give an example from your life, besides you are not asked to give an exable.

i hope i helped you.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Feb 1, 2011   #3
In conclusion, I think that talent is one and only one

This part is unclear. Can you say it in a different way?

Also, it is best if you add a thesis statement to the end of the first paragraph. That will let the reader know the main argument of the essay.

If you tell the argument you are making at the end of the first paragraph, the whole essay will support it while the reader reads.


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