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One person can't know everything so a group work is more effective than an individual work


Themselves2 1 / 1  
Sep 2, 2015   #1
Please, someone could correct my essay. Thanks!

When teachers assign projects on which students must work together, the students learn much more effectively than when they are asked to work alone on projects.

Today working on groups is a matter that everyone defend but it really helps people work more efficiently. Some people argue that would be impossible to do complicated projects without working on groups and other say that it demands more time to reach a conclusion. Generally speaking, I believe that students learn more efficiently if they work on groups, because on a group one have a more variety of information and learn important personal skills.

Generally, a group of people has more knowledge than only one person. In a group, each individual can contribute with different knowledge. Nevertheless, some people say that working in a group demand more time than working alone because demand much more time to reach a conclusion. So it is not efficient. For example, when I was at university I used to work on groups of 3 or 4 students and each one had different skills. I vividly remember I was more planner while a friend of mine was more organized, so I identified which tasks we should do first and she took notes. Thus, our work was well planned and organized.

During all our life, we will have to interact with people so we need to learn it since a child. It is important teachers to stimulate students work on groups since they are young in order to develop different abilities, such as, communication, managing people, listening people and sharing their knowledge. It is true that there are people who prefer to work alone, because they have problem to concentrate. However, even this kind of people should make an effort and try working on group in order to prepare to their professional life. If they did not do that they can lose some opportunities, like promotion.

To conclude, It is almost impossible one person knows everything so it is much more efficient working on groups because everyone can contribute with different knowledge. Besides that, working on groups is an ability we learn and develop during our life and must be stimulate since we are a young. I strongly recommend people who prefer working by themselves to make an effort to work on group in order to try developing import skills that will be useful in their profession life.

danielwong 2 / 2  
Sep 2, 2015   #2
I would like to feedback on your essay. Hope that it would be helpful for you.

The first sentence - "Today, working onin groups is a matter that everyone defend, but it really helps people to work more efficiently."

This sentence "do complicated projects without working on groups", you could paraphrase that in "handle complicated projects independently".

You should notice that "work in group" not "on group".

This sentence "I believe that students learn more efficiently in group-working i[s ]f they work on groups, because on a group one have a more variety of information and learn important personal skills trhough that they can exchange varied information from each other and improve their soft-skills."

"demands more time to reach a conclusion than working alone independently". "because demand much more time to reach a conclusion" this sentence is redundant.

"So it is not efficient", "so" is behind "," not ".", you should better use "Therefore, it seems not efficient".

"when I was at university, I used to work on groups of 3 or 4 students and each one had have different skills". Compound sentence should be with ",".

"I vividly remember thatI was more pl anner I was good at planning while a friend of mine and my friend was more organized strong at organising, so I identified which tasks we should do first and she took notes"

"During all our life, we will have to interact with people, so we need to should learn itgroup-working skill as young as possiblesince a child ."

"It is important teachers to stimulate students work on groups since they are young in order to develop different abilities, such as, communication, managing people, listening people and sharing their knowledge." - "Teachers play an important part of encouraging students to work in groups in order to develop different abilities, such as communication, managing people, listening to people and sharing their knowledge.

"prefer to working alone"

"If they did not do that, they can lose some opportunities, like promotion."

"To conclude, It is almost impossible one person knows everything so it is much more efficient working on groups because everyone can contribute with different knowledge. Besides that, working on in groups is an ability we learn and develop during our life and must be stimulate since we are a young. I strongly recommend people who prefer working by themselves to make an effort to work on group in order to try developing import skills,that which will be useful in their profession life."

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In my opinion, you should improve your grammar first, because you have some problem with compound, complex sentence. This is very important point that you should make clear in IELTS test.

There are many changes in your text, but keep going on. Reading more sample writing and articles will be helpful for you.
OP Themselves2 1 / 1  
Sep 3, 2015   #3
Thanks, your comments was very useful.


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