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One who pretends to be a friend but he/she is not, so called a fair weather friend

Tanveer775 2 / 9 2  
Dec 2, 2017   #1
Please make a required corrections, so that I can construct my sentences in a more correct way.

what friendship means?

You might have seen various types of friends i.e., close friends, best friends, hi-hello friends and so on, however, there are few who pretend to be a good friends but in reality there are not. It is better to have an enemy than a foolish friend, because you are sure that if you encountered with an enemy, he will try his best to harm you, however, you never know when your foolish friend can harm you or put you in a serious situation due to his foolishness. Similarly, one should also restrain himself/herself from a fair weather friend.

One of my friends told me a story about his best friend who studied together with him since childhood. He told me that he had always been very helpful to his friend. He would correct him whenever he saw him making any mistakes, told him the dressing style, called him his home as he was a part of his family and whenever he got anything new, he shown that to his friend first, in fact he gifted him things from his saved money.

Things were going fine, there were no conflicts between both of them. My friend told me that one day his friend told him that he bought a new plot and he would make a four story building on it and out of four, he will gift one to him. He just heard him saying it and then started talking other stuff.

As the time passed, my friend got married and then his friend after 2 years of his marriage. My friend would live in a joint family. One day, my friend's father decided to build home in a way that each of his brothers including him can have one single flat/apartment so that they can live comfortably, however. his father put a condition that he will only build up the structure of the building and rest everything will be done by an individual.

As the offer was quite decent, so all his brothers agreed to it, however, my friend was quite financially week, it was almost impossible for him to spend 3-4 lack rupees to complete his flat/apartment.

He tried his best and invested all he could to complete the flat/apartment, however, he would still need a big amount to complete it. He then decided to take a help from his friend and hence requested to lend him some money. To be specific, he requested to lend him 1 lac rupees for which his friend denied. He said that he could only lend him 50,000 rupees and not more than this, even a penny.

My friend agreed to it but forgot to inform that he would require some stuff from his shop while fixing doors and windows at his flat/apartment. Anyways, the time came when my friend needed some stuff from his shop as he had no money to buy those things. He went to his shop and gave a list of items he needed and his friend also gave all those things to him thinking that he would pay him for all the stuff he bought today or by the end of the day today, however, when my friend reached his shop in couple of days, he said that I could lend him only 50,000 rupees and the things you bought from me were not included in it. He said all this in a very rude way which no best friend could ever said to his/her best friend.

Just to inform you that his friend who lent him money is quite rich, he has multiple plots, own shop which cost around 20-30 crores and so on.

He made my friend realized that friendship has nothing to with money and money is more important than his friendship. Though there is a verbal bond between both of them that his money will be payed back within a specified time and he was fully aware of his situation that how financially week is my friend. He also knew that my friend's wife works a lot in a joint family and it wold be the best option if they get separated, however, he still suggested not to have doors and windows in the apartment/flat, just live on a rough, raw floor and when you get money with the time, build it.

So, from my understanding, he can never be a best friend nor so helpful. Keeping the fact that my friend has given him a sense of how to live a life and imparted knowledge as per the phase of life they went through can never be compared with money that he tried to be rude with.

Kindly correct me wherever I made a mistake in forming the sentences. Thank you so much for your help.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,333 3357  
Dec 2, 2017   #2
Tanveer, for starters, you are consistently writing run-on sentences instead of complete paragraphs. Refrain from using commas and use more periods instead. State complete thoughts within sentences in order to create understandable explanatory paragraphs. Since this is a narrative, third person essay, you should learn to use more varying terms for the same word. For example, you are consistently using the term "friend" in this essay. Vary the term you use so that you can avoid redundancies in your presentation. Some other words for "friend" are buddy, classmate, chum, pal. bosom-buddy, to name but a few. Using synonyms, which these alternate words are known as formally, will also allow you to widen your English vocabulary.

You also need to learn how to use more connecting words since you lack a few of them in your presentations. Additionally, when you write your opening paragraphs, you have to make sure that you present a topic statement or thesis presentation at the end of the paragraph in order to inform the reader about what the topic you will be discussing all about. Since this is a story about your friend and his bad experience with his chum (see how I used the synonym there?), then you should have made that the ending topic sentence / thesis statement at the end of the opening paragraph.
OP Tanveer775 2 / 9 2  
Dec 2, 2017   #3
Thank you so much Holt for your help. I will try my best to implement all you suggested. Thank you.
OP Tanveer775 2 / 9 2  
Dec 3, 2017   #4
Though I do appreciate your feedback, however, somewhere down the line, I still have doubts regarding what all sentences were correct and wrong that I have written. I got your point that it was a story and not an essay, however, in order to improve my English, at least I should know that the sentences I am making are correct. Therefore, my humble request to you is to let me know the correction if it is required.

Thank you.

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