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SAT Essay:One Subject or Multiple?


mingbaau 2 / 1  
Mar 13, 2009   #1
Assignment: Is it better to focus on one subject or multiple.
In modern society, the indispensable discoveries cannot be found by focusing on one subject anymore, but instead the advanced technologies always require different people's focusing on various subjects. Without a doubt, all important discoveries cannot be resulted from centering on one subject.

Isaac Newton, one of the most prominent scientists in human civilization, contributed significantly in modern physics by his discovery of gravity from the famous "falling apple" experience. In his process toward the discovery of gravity, in addition to the extreme talent in physics, Newton created and used a sizable number of mathematical methods, which are still used in today's calculus courses. Had Newton not had the outstanding knowledge of calculus, he would not have been able to solve the problem of the "falling apple" and came up with one of the most influential theories, the gravity.

Observing the modern scientific researches, we are able to find the importance of focusing on multiple subjects. The Large Hardon Collider was perhaps the most renowned scientific projects in year 2008. The Large Hardon Collider, also known as the "god particle" experiment, helped scientists understand the starting point of the universe by studying the tenuous "god particle", the basis of all objects. Although the god particle is tiny, more than three thousand scientists from over the world who study in many different subjects gathered in Switzerland, the location for LHC project, to achieve their common goal. There were not only physicists, but also mathematicians, chemists, and computer programmers. Thus, it is reasonable to believe that the discoveries, especially those in the current world, cannot be done by focusing on one subject.

In conclusion, great works and discoveries always contain various different subjects.

can you help me with the grammar errors and some other problems like structure?
thanks!

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Mar 14, 2009   #2
Without a doubt, all important discoveries cannot be the result of centering on one subject.

Isaac Newton, one of the most prominent scientists in human civilization, contributed significantly to modern physics by his discovery of gravity from the famous "falling apple" experience.

Had Newton not had the outstanding knowledge of calculus, he would not have been able to solve the problem of the "falling apple" and come up with one of the most influential theories, that of gravity.

The Large Hardon Collider was perhaps the most renowned scientific project in year 2008.
Although the god particle is tiny, more than three thousand scientists from all over the world who study in many different subjects gathered in Switzerland, the location for LHC project, to achieve their common goal.

It seems that this should be stated as a generalization, not as fact. Limit your words and stay sharply focused.

good luck!
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Mar 14, 2009   #3
Some more fixes:

"In modern society, the indispensable discoveries cannot be found by focusing on one subject anymore, but instead the advanced technologies always require different people's focusing on various subjects."

"In the process of discovering gravity, in addition to the extreme talent in physics , Newton created and used a sizable number of mathematical methods that are still used in today's calculus courses."

"Observing the modern scientific researches "


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