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One's success determines through rewarding career. People are choosing to change careers, why?


Anfalia 40 / 56 23  
Feb 11, 2015   #1
An increasing number of people are choosing to change careers during their working lives, and some even do so more than once.
What reasons might people have to change careers?
Do you think this is a positive or negative development for society?


One's success determines through rewarding career. From this personal perspective, changing career in working lives has already remained a remarkably widespread phenomenon. The majority of people change their careers pretty often in view of getting better their career prospects. Although there are positives and negatives in such changes, I am personally convinced that the benefits by doing so do outweigh its disadvantages.

The reason why people especially teenage years are more likely to change their personal career is a tendency of high expectation to try out new experiences, instead of following the family career path. Research studies show that people in the age of 15 tend to avoid in the case of working in the same organization with their family, they are more likely to be traveler or other job sectors. When the age over 20, this fascination with new places is declining, and changes is less attractive. Consequently, the age-related trend can be observed in all experiences.

This phenomenon enables to address positives sides for people. Firstly, people acquire the various experience of working lives. It predicts to be useful for their bright future life when it comes to work. The more people have work experience, the easier for them to obtain high level jobs. Also, they are easily to adapt and behave properly with many kinds of individual characteristic. It owes to their intensity to interact with other people in different jobs. As a result, inhabitants who have the enormous working experience indirectly improve their personal social behavior.

Conversely, people do not have chance to move easily to the higher job position when they only work for a short time in the same company. However, when they stay in this job permanently, it is easier for them to achieve their higher job position, and it results to get higher income. For pragmatic instance, a commercial industry such as Pizza Hut allows their employees to be manager when these employees have already been worked for several years. By pointing out this fact, it can be concluded that the long term people work guarantees to their job satisfaction.

On the whole, as the majority of people these days prefer to work in many different companies address some merits and demerits, I would argue that people should bear in mind when they want to decide to work because a whole of their career determines their future success. Where possible, people should enjoy their time at young ages to vary their experiences because as they get older, their openness to new experiences is slowly declining.

Imaduddinnst 3 / 2  
Feb 11, 2015   #2
Hi, Anfalia!

I have found a grammatical error from your essay.

The more people have work experience, the easier for them to obtain high level jobs.

I think it should be :

The more people have work experience, the easier for themthese peopleto obtain high level jobs

Because the irregular -er, -er structure has a pattern like (The -er/more + same structure, the -er/more + same structure, we have to use it correctly.
moleman 2 / 5 4  
Feb 11, 2015   #3
Some little thoughts:

1. Total word count exceeds 400, which is equal to a exam suicide for your part. You need to compress it heavily (Recommended total ranging from 250-350)

2. The introductory paragraph have some untenable proposition,for instance" The majority of people change their careers pretty often ", which even don't mesh with the narrative of the prompt"An increasing number of people are choosing to change careers during their working lives, and some even do so more than once."( You are brave to challenge the background knowledge provided by exam-setters.) And the first sentence"One's success determines through rewarding career" is awkward in wording and partial in content. A possible better version may be" A rewarding career is one of the well-accepted indicators of personal success"

3. The body of arguments
To sum up, your arguments are quite disorganised and inconsistent.

For the second sentence, the whole point sound quite strange to me. First of all, teenage means age from 13-19. Does that truly sound a period of work to you? In addition, the ''family career path'' proposition seems strange as well. Are you talking about the family buisness, which, by the way, is a small component of the whole economy? My point is :Does "the younger generation tend to choose a different career path from their parents and siblings" equal to " the younger generation tend to regularly change their career path". at least for me, there is no relevance between the two statements.

For the third paragraph, it seems that you mix up"diversified" and"enormous" in terms of experience. You see, does one stay in the same job necessarily can't get enormous exprience through the career?

For the fourth paragraph, it should be completely deleted, since you are supposed to mention some negative sides of people choosing to change their careers. instead, you describe the positive sides of not choosing to change their carees. Once Again, They are not the same case!

Most importantly, you never look at the issue in a societal perspective, which is stated clearly as"Do you think this is a positive or negative development for society?" in the promts.

I will leave it here. Good luck.
OP Anfalia 40 / 56 23  
Feb 13, 2015   #4
Imad
thank you for remind me, I almost forget for the form of comparative. :)

Moleman
Wow!! It really helps me. Thank you very much. I think I need to improve more my essay.


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