Taking a break from school may be great for everybody but not for everyone.
....wow ... great start as always :)
ManyAmong many of the advantages an individual may find is being able to save money in advance for university studies; lessened burden for one that was able to save enough than to those who were not able .
.... It's better you take the latter part to the next sentence.
On the other hand, a high school student may prefer to continue his/her study for post-graduate studies due to this reason.
what is this reason? There's no reference previously so this sounds ambiguous.
I don't say that you do not support your reasons with examples. But I wish they have more specific nature rather than general. I guess that helps you earn more marks. However, you have great writing skills and can easily go for a real good band :)