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Online communication and finding new friends


barryha2705 2 / 5 6  
Jul 28, 2019   #1

a convenient tool to make friends



With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends? To what extent do you agree?

The advent of online communication has made it easier to forge connections with people from all walks of life. Such method is thought to keep users from loneliness and provide endless possibility of establishing friendships. In my opinion, I completely agree with this statement for a number of reasons.

Firstly, online communication centres around helping users to easily connect with each other regardless of geographical distances. Today's social media platforms gear towards user-friendly interfaces in which online friends are recommended based on users' profile information. This facilitates friend-making process without having to leave one's comfort zone. In addition, such means of communication ensures that one will be constantly provided with friend suggestions as a way to enhance online experience. For instance, Tinder - an online dating application - matches users with common shared interests, supplying them with multiple potential individuals with whom they can interact.

Secondly, the online world is a vast pool of people from different backgrounds. As an indication of trendiness, more and more people feel the need to join the digital world. This creates a sense of collectivity and togetherness in that users are safe in the knowledge that there will always be people they can reach out to. This sense is further enhanced by insights they are given into others' personal lives and interests. For example, each Facebook user has what is called a 'newsfeed' - a news bulletin with updates on what their friends share and their activities.

In conclusion, the large number of online users and ease of connection have made online communication a convenient tool to make friends and avoid loneliness.
Ann_Ng 4 / 8  
Jul 28, 2019   #2
I recommend that this sentence should be "... to keep users away from loneliness" - Keep someone away from something.
s410377088 11 / 22 4  
Jul 29, 2019   #3
I think you can change the conclusion a little bit so it can fit to your second reason:
... tool to make friends and meet people from different cultures
Maria - / 1,099 389  
Jul 29, 2019   #4
@barryha2705
Hello there! I'll provide you with writing feedback on your essay.

First and foremost, I recommend that you try to enhance the overall tone of your essay. Try to, for instance, change the way you transition between your sentences. Doing this will definitely help you incorporate more depth in your writing.

I would also heavily suggest incorporating more concrete examples on the essay. If you are able to add these, it would definitely improve the outlook that you currently have.

Try to be clearer and more straightforward with your text. The second body paragraph appears to be quite vague in the direction that it wishes to partake in.

Your conclusion should also be improved. Add more summation to create more detail.

Best of luck as always.
OP barryha2705 2 / 5 6  
Jul 29, 2019   #5
@Maria
OMG, thank you for your help. This is such helpful advice and I will take note of what you said.
If possible, could you show me in detail how to do what you said?


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