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Writing Task II _ Online Computer Games can Broaden The Horizon


Hujjatul19 45 / 70 3  
Oct 23, 2016   #1
Some people think that online computer game is useful for children, while others claim is bad. What are advantages and disadvantages of online computer game for children?

The trend of online computer games is becoming common among children and being debated by some societies. Some people assume that it is worthwhile as it can be a fun way to acquire knowledge like foreign languages, whereas the rest of them argue the opposite since it makes its users being addicted.

It is commonly thought that through online computer games, people will obtain new knowledge such as culture and language. Since this sophisticated plays are created mostly by other countries and being globally used, so the creators must be function it as a chance to introduce their country. Moreover, owing to the fact that online games are played repeatedly, it is an affective way, then, since it will unintentionally be trapped in users' mind. In China, a current study presents that there are more than a half (59%) of pupils who understand verbal English and Japanese as they are genuine gamers. Thus, it is simply beneficial to play online computer games since while having fun, people also broaden their horizon.

However, it is not a small number of people who often reported that playing online games bears demerits and the most being complained is that it is addictive. This kind of game is considered to drag too much time because it provides many levels of challenges where it makes gamers' curiosity is gradually increasing and leads them to play it over again. Furthermore, people find online computer games are enjoyable because this happens in cyberspace that makes them can interact to other gamers globally. A conducted survey in Japan 2015 shows that there are 76 parents of 100 total interviewee parents admit that their teenagers mostly have their leisure time in front of their computer screen for hours. It is true then that online computer games offer drawback for users.

To conclude, through online computer games, children have their play time while gain knowledge. Even though it has possibility to make users addictive, but parents control can be counted on.
bkornak 1 / 1 1  
Oct 23, 2016   #2
... debated by some societies ("societies" is too general).
... assume that it is worthwhile as it can be a fun way to acquire new knowledge like foreign languages , (others) whereas the rest of them argue the opposite, since it makes its users being addicted that it may lead to addiction.

... computer games, people will obtain new knowledge such as can learn about culture and language. Since this sophisticated plays games are often created mostly by other countries and are being globally used, so the creators must be function use it as a chance way to introduce their country.

... games are played repeatedly, it is an affective effective way, then, since it will unintentionally be ... (( I don't understand this sentence))

In China, a current study presents shows that there are more than a half (59%) of pupils (...) and Japanese asthey are genuine gamers. Thus, it is simply beneficial to play (...) since while having fun, people also broaden their horizons, ...

However, it is not a small number of many people who often reported report that playing online games bears demerits and the most being complained is that it is addictive. "

This kind of game is considered to drag too much time because ... ((You should divide this sentence up -- it's long and confusing)

... online computer games are enjoyable because this happens in cyberspace that makes they them can allow them to interact to with other gamers globally. A conducted survey conducted in Japan (...) that their teenagers have their leisure time in front of their computer screen for hours spend hours of their ...

Even though it has possibility to make users addictive may lead to addiction, but parental control can be counted on.

****You use too many words to lay out your argument. Your essay could be written much more concisely. But, I understand the point you're making, and you use good evidence to back up your points.


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