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Online education as a replacement to traditional education. Which is more benefitial for a student?


jalp 11 / 31 6  
Jun 12, 2018   #1
Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

ONLINE EDUCATION AS A REPLACEMENT TO TRADITIONAL EDUCATION.



As technology advances, education thru internet is embraced by the society. While others believe going to school is still the best way to learn. In my opinion, traditional education has more benefits than online education.

E-learning is an online way to study. Instead of going to school, students will be in front of their computers instead of boards. Some people prefer this kind of education because it is more accessible and less hassle to the students and even to educators. Laptops and internet are all they need for this to work.

However, there are other people who think that being present in the classrooms and face-to-face to their teachers are more conducive in learning. Traditional education involves personal participation that can help the students be active in school activities. Going to school may help young people to interact with other students that can also give them new learnings and different perspectives that they may not achieve by being online.

From my perspective, I believe that sitting in a classroom, listening to the teachers and communicating with other students are better for learning. If a student is present in school, he can raise his hand and ask questions personally whenever he does not understand something. While in e-learning, from my personal experience when I was in college, most videos are recorded, and a professor talked nonstop about his or her specialty. Because of that, I was not able to learn anything but was forced to listen and sit in front of the computer and watch my teacher talk.

Therefore, I still stand on my belief that traditional education have more benefits than internet education. Though being online is the easiest way to learn, it still cannot replace the old-fashion way to absorb knowledge and gain new information by being present in a room full of students and infront of the teacher.

I think this is a weak essay, but I still want to be graded and reviewed so I would know how to correct my future essays if i encounter with the same prompt.

Thank you in advance!

Holt [Contributor] - / 6,681 1670  
Jun 13, 2018   #2
Jea, I will not score this essay because you did not do a very good job at responding to the prompt requirement. The instruction for the discussion in this essay is as follows:

Original Discussion: Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The original instruction is based on the reasoning that:

Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable.

Based on the above information, it becomes clear that you did not properly discuss the prompt requirement because your thesis statement was:

Your thesis statement: In my opinion, traditional education has more benefits than online education.

The topic for your thesis statement is not located anywhere in the original prompt instruction. This is a 2 point of view plus personal opinion essay regarding whether or not old school ways can be replaced by new ways of schooling. It is not about the benefits of online education. That is a totally different discussion and would be based upon a comparison rather than a reasoning essay.

This is a reasoning essay that you turned it into a personal opinion only discussion because of wrong paragraph discussion development and key phrases to indicate the type of discussion being presented in the paragraph. Therefore your score will be tangential for most of the essay because you failed to properly represent all 3 sides of the issue being presented. It will not be a good score for you overall.

What then is the proper thesis statement and approach to this essay?

As more people seek online education, a discussion has developed regarding the possibility that internet based academic training will replace physical school attendance. While others believe so, there are those who say that real - time education in an actual school setting will never be replaced. In this essay, I will discuss both opinions and present my own point of view for the benefit of the readers.

Some discussions support...

While the other line of reasoning is that...

My opinion is...


You need to brush up on your English comprehension and analysis skills. You did not do a very good job in terms of those considerations in this essay and it led you to a prompt deviation instead.
OP jalp 11 / 31 6  
Jun 14, 2018   #3
Thank you very much for the review and grateful for the samples and approach you have mentioned.
I focused too much on 'has so many benefits' that I forgot the other things.


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