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WRITING TASK 2 ONLINE SHOPPING (damage effect)


cewhalee 1 / 1  
Mar 17, 2020   #1

1. Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular.


[b]Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people who lost their jobs because of it./b]

The ubiquitous spread of online shopping has recently posed a large-scale threat to our society. While we could not deny the fact that this trend can reap insurmountable economic benefits, it is believed to have an overwhelming detrimental impact on the environment, not to mention the unemployment rate.

To begin with, although online shopping per se has several so-called multifold advantages, its significant downsides to the environment cannot be excluded. With the spiraling of purchasing on the web, there exists a dire need for packaging materials to courier their goods. Therefore, a surge in plastic and paper usage for fulling such online orders is undoubtedly inevitable. This would negatively affect the green cover of the Earth with mounting wastes strewing all over, leading to several catastrophic environmental phenomena in the foreseeable future.

Secondly, local shops which used to be the main supplies of goods, now facing a probability of shutting down their outlets. This is because the advent of online shopping enables customers to have infinite choices, which available in even inaccessible locations, whereas the traditional could only provide them limited products. Moreover, this superefficient shopping habit guaranteed that clienteles would own a similar quality product with lower prices in comparision with local goods, leading to numerous salesmen being unemployed and having to fight to justify their relevance in this hypermodern and advanced technological era.

From the arguments given, I firmly believe that online shopping has a damaging effect on our planet along with the financial aspects of several employees and employers. Given the odd nature of our contemporary affair, we will have to create an ad hoc committee to propose solutions to the problem.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,157 2307  
Mar 17, 2020   #2
This essay will be deemed only partially responsive to the task. That is because this 4 paragraph essay is missing the loss of job discussion paragraph. The format is:

- Paraphrase
- Environmental impact
- Loss of jobs
- Concluding summary

Your essay focused only the environmental aspect. You only mentioned the loss of jobs, without a discussion in the concluding part, which, by the way, doesn't follow the proper format for a concluding paragraph. So, without the concluding paragraph, the essay will be deemed to be open ended, which means you will lose considerable points due to 2 avoidable errors in the discussion presentation.

Try to use topic sentences to kick off your paragraphs. Your presentations tend to be very long winded and almost senseless because you spend all the time introducing the topic instead of discussing the topic sentence reasons in the paragraph. Don't focus on just the vocabulary and word count, focus on the quality of the content and clarity of your explanation instead. One topic sentence = 4 justification sentences. That means a total of 5 related sentences in every paragraph.


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