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TASK 1- Online shopping sales in New Zealand enggaged in four distinct retail sectors


sharfina 35 / 21 5  
Dec 8, 2015   #1
The pie charts illustrate the shares of online shopping sales in New Zealand enggaged in four distinct retail sectors: travel, film/music, books, and clothes between 2003 and 2013. Overall, it can be obviously seen that books sector was always surpassed by travel and film/music, yet over the following period, the greatest change was film/music.

By far, in 2003, the largest proportion of online sales was occupied by travel with 36%, followed by clothes and film/music, accounting for 24 percent and 21 percent respectively. The opposite was experienced in books sector, representing only 19 percent.

A closer look at the pie charts show a dramatic increase of the share from 21 percent to 33 percent, film/music had accounted for the largest amount of sales, while books sector increased slighty by 3 percent. On the other hand, those of sales for travel and clothes sector had declined to 29 percent and 16 percent respectively.



dynaranjani 27 / 24 18  
Dec 8, 2015   #2
HI Fina ..

Good writing, but there's only one grammatical error.

A closer look at the pie charts show a dramatic increase...
I think, it should be 'shows', because the subject is not the pie charts but a closer look

...books, and clothes between 2003 and 2013.
Then, in this sentence, I don't know whether you can use 'between..and..' or not since the charts only reveal the information in 2003 and 2013, not between of those years.


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