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Ontario staffing job for teaching English suddenly fell down (2005-2007 timeframe) to just under 30%


ekalamarsyari11 72 / 108 9  
Aug 29, 2016   #1
The line graph reveals the percentage of new graduates who found jobs as teachers of English and French in Ontario over a six year period from 2001 to 2007. According to the data, the employment for English-language educators decreased significantly during the period. On the other hand, a trend for French-language teachers witnessed a slight increase with a part of fluctuation. Overall, it can be seen that recruitment for those who teach English became less than before while French teachers experienced a rapid rise from 2001 to 2007.

In the first two years, the proportion of English educators fell from just over 72 per cent to 40 per cent. Data of French teachers, however, went up and down in this period. In the three following years, there was a stable trend not only for the number of English educators but also for French language educators in around 40 per cent and 70 per cent.

Unfortunately, staffing job for teaching English suddenly fell down again to just under 30 per cent from 2005 to 2007. In fact, profession as French teachers decreased of about 3 per cent in 2006 but it peaked at in the end of the period.



akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Aug 29, 2016   #2
Hi Eka Lamar.
These are my corrections. Please, review them and consider to write the writing.

... and French in Ontario over a six year SIX-YEAR period, from 2001 to 2007. According to the data,OVERALL, IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT the employment for English-language ...

On the other hand, WHILE a trend for French-language teachers witnessed ...
Overall, it can be seen that recruitment for those who teach English became ...MOREOVER, THERE HAD BEEN A WIDE GAP BETWEEN THE FIGURES IN SOME LAST YEARS.

Data of French teachers, however ON THE OTHER SIDE, went up and down ...
... there was a stable trend not only for the number of English educatorsTHE FORMER but also for French languageTHE LATTEReducators in around 40 per cent and 70 per cent.(The Former for a thing mentioned first, and The Latter for the thing mentioned second. It is a way to avoid repetition)

... as the French teachers decreased of to about APPROXIMATELY 3 per cent in 2006, but it peaked at in the end of the period.(Make you sure that you write more than 2 sentence in the paragraph.)
fikni05 3 / 3  
Aug 29, 2016   #3
hi Eka, nice to meet you!

I read your post and here my correction for you.
- First paragraph in first line: ...overa six year ... = ...over six years
- First paragraph in last line: ... French teachers experienced a rapid rise from 2001 to 2007...
I will mention the rapid rise, if we see the picture of the graph the French line shown that in 2002 it decreased then rose in 2003.

I think it can't be generalized as rapid rise.
- Second paragraph: In the first two years , the proportion of English educators fell....
I think you should mention which year is that. Data of French teachers, however, went up and down in this period. --> it's not clear what do you mean and what "this period" refers to, since you don't mention any years in the second paragraph.

Well, that's all from me. i'm still learning too correct me if i'm wrong. Thanks. Keep writing, hope your dreams will comes true. Break a leg! :)


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