THE THREAT OF NUCLEAR WEAPONS MAINTAINS THE WORLD PEACE. NUCLEAR POWER PROVIDES CHEAP AND CLEAN ENERGY. THE BENEFITS OF NUCLEAR TECHNOLOGY FAR OUT-WEIGHT THE DISADVANTAGES. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?
beware of unimaginable negative effects
Many people said that the benefits of nuclear technology are more valuable than its disadvantages. The dangers of nuclear weapons keep the world peace and nuclear power is an alternative resource which is bet than other power sources that we are using. Personally, I strongly disagree with this statement due to the harm it causes.
First of all, we cannot deny that nuclear technology plays an important role in our lives. If we compare it to fossil fuel, we can see that nuclear power is cheaper, quicker, cleaner and one prominent thing that it is unlimited. It can solve the problem that we are running out of non-renewable natural resources. Furthermore, if nuclear weapons did not exist, world war 3 could happen anytime. Without the threat of them, many aggressive nations would not be scared of anything.
However, the positive benefits are not worth the risks to the earth. Besides the potential benefits of nuclear technology, we can see that if it was not handled carefully, an explosion could happen. As a result, not only a large of area would be destroyed but also none of living creatures could survive in the radius of that destructive explosion. Moreover, humanity could have incurable diseases because of the effects from that. The governments would have to spend a huge amount of money to rebuild everything and help the victims settle down.
In conclusion, the benefits of nuclear technology cannot compare to its unimaginable negative effects. If we can reduce the damage of it by decrease the number of nuclear weapons and factories, use other renewable natural resources such as the sun, wind, and water to stop making the environment polluted probably it still can be accepted.
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Vu, your opening statement is highly confusing to read. You need to refrain from beginning the discussion in that paragraph as well. Look at this example of how to write this essay opening statement:
While nuclear power provides the world with an alternative affordable energy resource, once the power is harnessed as a weapon though, it offers a delicately balanced sense of world peace. This is the main reason why there is a belief that the assistance offered by nuclear power carries more disadvantages than advantages.
Since this is not an "extent" essay, you should not be using emotional descriptions for your agreement or disagreement with the topic. A simple statement would have sufficed.
All of your paragraphs have under developed discussions because you have at least 3 topics ongoing per paragraph when you only need one topic, fully discussed and supported in each of the 3 body paragraphs. Remember that you have to outline your discussion before you draft it. That way you make sure that you thresh out the supporting details of each topic you have chosen to discuss instead of offering up mere talking points without the benefit of an informed discussion. That is what you accidentally did in this essay. BTW, 5 paragraphs increases your chances to get a higher score in the TA section. So always do your best to present the full number of paragraphs (as required) instead of limiting yourself to only 4 paragraphs. You suffer downgraded points in the 4 scoring considerations when you do that.
Your conclusion should also only wrap up the discussion by summarizing the important facts for the reader to note. You cannot continue to present new information and advice in that paragraph because you end up with an open ended instead of a concluded essay.