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Essay about opinion on donating a fixed sum from income to charity - IELTS writing 2


Suskie11 1 / -  
Aug 22, 2021   #1
Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity.
How far do you share this viewpoint?

Incomes seem to be increasing around the world due to globalization, so as the number of people who needs support from others, making charity more important. It appears to me that people should come forward to contribute to charity as it is easy to do as well as has other benefits too, which will be discussed in this essay.

For middle to high-class individuals and families, donating a fixed sum of their money should not be any issue. This is because they can easily create separate spaces in their monthly budgets for such assistance and then compare it with unnecessary expenses to decide whether they want to keep spending money for things like excessive alcohol, cigarettes, and junk/processed food or simply wants to help the welfare organisations to pay it forward to the needy ones. Secondly, the kind act of charity also gives a sense of satisfaction as the donators are satisfied that they are also giving back to society in this particular form. Lastly, contributing to charity also comes with tax benefits in the form of 'tax-deduction free expenses' as governments around the world fix attractive limits for the same to attract the taxpayers to participate in such a noble cause.

It appears to be true that numerous earners are not very keen to the idea of donations. They seem to be concerned about factors like ever-increasing cost of living due to rising inflation rates around the globe. Nonetheless, same dynamics can be easily neutralized by managing expenses, and investing by taking calculated risks.

In summary, contributions to the welfare organizations should be made by earning individuals because as per my view it is easy to do so by limiting the materialistic expenses by small degrees, it also gives a sense of satisfaction, and lastly, it comes with tax benefits too.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,765 4768  
Aug 23, 2021   #2
Keep the sentence presentations simple. The writer is trying to unsuccessfully write advanced format and complicated word usage. The following should be rewritten as:

so as the number of people who needs support from others

- ... so too are the number...

The reason for the error is clear, it is a run-on presentation. For clarity and proper formatting, avoid writing long sentences. Individual reference sentences always work best.

Since only the viewpoint is essential to the discussion, the benefits represent a prompt deviation. That section of writing is non-essential and therefore, non-scoring. The essay score will not meet the passing requirements as the actual discussion points, as required are not properly developed. The essay strayed from the required discussion . That is the only reason for the scoredown.


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