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IELTS Writing Task 2 - Opinion Essay (job gratification vs. job security)

trongtin611 1 / -  
Jun 27, 2021   #1
Some people argue job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others believe a permanent job is more important.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There have been different viewpoints regarding the question of whether job gratification or job security is of greater importance. From my perspective, both should be equally considered as they have several impacts on different aspects.

To begin with, I would say that job satisfaction is more crucial than job security in some respects regarding firms' value and job commitment. To be more specific, once workers are provided with such compensation as competitive allowances, a healthy workplace environment, and recognition, it is likely that they will be incentivized to contribute more to the company. From that, firms can witness flourishing outcomes which come from the dedication of satisfied individuals. In addition, lucrative offerings can be a competitive advantage for a company to develop a strong sense of commitment among its personnel. To further explain, the job market now is stunningly dynamic, so companies with better compensations and benefits will have lower turnover rates, which is a concerning issue of human resource management. To sum up, satisfied workers can generate better value for their company and have a stronger job commitment.

However, the importance of a permanent occupation should not be overlooked, especially for those who are in their mid-thirties, when they need to start making home. The reason is that at this stage of life, most people tend to pursue a stable job with a high pay rate to facilitate their living as well as their family. To elaborate, people in this age group have more pressure and responsibilities apart from themselves, which include schooling for their offspring and personal savings and investment. Therefore, having a lasting job can help early millennials control their financial status and take good care of their own family.

In conclusion, I believe that job satisfaction is necessary to make employees engaged and happy during work, however, job security is also of paramount importance when it comes to a certain age group who are entering another stage of life.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,003 3877  
Jun 28, 2021   #2
The essay shows that the writer misunderstood the writing requirement for the topic. While the reasoning presented is somewhat on point, the writing presentation does not meet the prompt discussion requirement of discussing then topics based on the public opinion first. The writer has completed the essay solely froma solid personal point of view only. The score of the essay will only be useful to one of the 3 required writing paragraphs.

The lack of 2 public opinion explanation prevents the full scoring consideration for this essay. The personal opinion should have been based on a comparative discussion of the 2 public supporting reasons. There are no right or wrong opinions here. Only an analytical support for a side that the writer believes is more aligned with his beliefs. That cannot be accurately presented unless a clear understanding of the public reasons is delivered first.
countryno81 1 / 1  
Jun 28, 2021   #3
The question requires you to discuss both views and give your opinion. As far as I can tell, you should write both advantages and disadvantages of each view. Then, you will give your thinking.

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