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An opinion essay; Libraries - is there still a need such institution?


angaquay 1 / 1  
May 28, 2019   #1

Libraries in the age of computers and internet



A composition answering this question: In the age of computers and the internet, is there still a need for public libraries?
It seems that the rise of digitalised book and Internet have overtaken the conventional libraries . Despite the advance of technology, I agree with the statement that the function of public libraries could not be changed.

Firstly, reading a book in the library have some own benefit compared to those sophisticated device which provide Internet program. Using these gadgets for the purpose of reading in a long time is detrimental to our health especially for those who have sleep or visual problem. Libraries provide you with an ideal workplace, without which your productivity would be influenced badly due to exposure to the noise .For example,artificial lights from e-books may interfere with our ability to sleep leading to adverse of impact to health. Furthermore, if library was destructed, there would be nowhere to preserve and exhibit antique books , documents and people would not have a chance to use these old materials.

Going digital is not always a good decision.For instance, some studies has been stacking up to show that reading on paper is more beneficial for you than on electronic screen, help to boost your retetion and focus. Using an e-book or internet to read may be trendy and convenient, but it has many drawbacks if you overuse it.

To conclude, I believe that the role of libraries cannot be displaced forever. Although internet makes things easier, people need library to gain more knowledge.

andrewfoy273 2 / 5 1  
May 28, 2019   #2
Hi @angaquay
First of all, I think the structure of your essay is not quite balanced. The length of your two body paragraphs is not equal :P and the conclusion is seem to be short (you should add the gist of task statement and paraphrase that sentence too)

Second, you have to consider your transition (firstly, secondly, ...)
Finally, you may check again your grammar (just a little bit :P )
+ devices
+ of impact to health -> .... on health
Best of luck in your writing
Maria [Contributor] - / 952 340  
May 29, 2019   #3
@angaquay
Hi there!

Let's look through your essay - and hopefully I can provide you with useful feedback on your writing.

First and foremost, while it may be contrary to what others may say, having simpler language goes a long way in terms of the formality of your essay. If you have simpler words used throughout, you are able to focus more on the technical angles of writing (grammar, composition, structure) that would help you curate and develop a more in-depth essay.

Furthermore, I think that the depth and specifics of your content are all great and well-rounded. What I would only recommend is that you try to repackage your sentences in a way that would make it a bit more academic. For instance, having a more rigid tone to your essay instead of an opinionated one would go a long way.

Now, having said that, let's revise the first portion so you may see what I am referring to.

It seems that the rise ... libraries The rise of e-books and the internet has taken over conventional libraries. Despite the advancements ofin technology, I agree with the statement that ... libraries couldcan not be changed.

Firstly, reading a book in ... program compared to using the internet on smartphones, reading books in the library has benefits. ... for the purpose of reading in a long time long periods of reading is detrimental to our health, especially for those who have sleep or visual problem suffer from visual and sleep-related concerns. Libraries provide ... workplace, without which your ... the noise that can optimize your productivity by reducing exposure to noise.

I hope I was able to help. Best of luck in your writing endeavors!


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