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In my opinion railways are more important than roads. Government support. IELTS- writing task 2

blackheartbt 1 / -  
May 13, 2017   #1
Hello, everyone. This is my first time to write the IELTS test.
Can I have some feedback to this one, thank you very much.
I know my writing is not good, but practice is make perfect.^^

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

more support for train or for car industry?

Nowsday transportation also is more of important government job. So will increasing different option for government to choose which one is more necessary.
And some of people think railways other people think is roads. Transport will bring the people convenience and effect. In my opinion is railways more important than roads, that have some reason:

First of all, Recently we can see have own vehicle people more and more, when drive to work or travel is convenience but at the same time easy cause the traffic congestion. Secondly, during traffic congestion vehicle still working so emission increasing air pollution easy get people sick or feeling uncomfortable. Thirdly when thousand of cars driving will make noisy.

In the other hand, The government improve the railways can enhance the people during traffic effect and at the same time reducing the traffic congestion because it is the public transport. Secondly reduce the noise and car accident happen chance, more convenience and improve quality of life for living in the side road people. Thirdly reduce air pollution and improve air quality of life also can help tourism come to your country to travel and can easy arrange their time to play.

On consunded, government should spend more money on railways more than roads, because railways sell the ticket also is good way can drawback of money, and reuse the money to build up another basic construciton, improve our convenience of life and reduce air pollution, noise, traffic congestion and save money form privacy vehicle.
Ahmadham 4 / 11 7  
May 13, 2017   #2
Halo Lin Yi, It seems that you still have a problem with grammatical understanding. Some sentences you made are difficult to understand. Prior deciding to write an IELTS essay, it will be better for you to improve your understanding on grammar.first This will not lead you to be stressful as your focus when writing is only on delivering a good idea. Although being placed as the last assessment point in IELTS band descriptor, Grammatical accuracy is an understanding which should not be overlooked as this aspect will determine the flow of your essay.

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