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In my opinion, schools and hospitals are more important than impressive buildings


Pramudita 14 / 11 6  
Oct 11, 2015   #1
Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience!


Many argue that a city requires imposing constructions, yet others criticize it since they consider that development of schools and hospitals are more important. In my opinion, public facilities are truly significant for a town.

There is a reason why buildings having amazing structures become extremely important for a city. This is because those can be an identity of a town which capable to attract tourists so as to increase government revenue. It is really effective, since tourism sector has given a large contribution for the income of city. Taking Eifel tower in Paris as an example, this has become an icon for France which brings many holidaymakers. At least 84 million foreigners visited this city last year, since wanted to capture moment at Eifel which was the one of seven wonders on Earth.

However, I believe that improvement of schools and hospitals should be prioritized, since these are main factors for human survival. Firstly, schools give knowledge which is useful to gain better life in the future. To illustrate, who want to be a minister of finance must understand how to organize gaining of country, and surely the horizon of this only can be obtained at school. Hospital is also needed, because these provide health facilities for inhabitants, and definitely mankind who are healthy can do whatever they want. For instance, individuals will not able to go to office if they are getting sick.

To conclude, although remarkable buildings are essential element for a city, yet I believe that education and health are more significant for human life. Therefore the government should spend more earnings to reform schools and hospitals.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 11, 2015   #2
Dita, your introduction is quite short. As such, it does not offer a concrete overview of the discussion. The restatement of the prompt is one long sentence that is combined with your opening statement. You need to break it down so that you will have at least 3 sentences in your introductory sentence. That is the standard for the overview part of the essay. You should also add that your essay will discuss why you support the idea that public facilities such as schools and hospitals should be better developed than the buildings of the town.

While your discussion is already strong, it can even be stronger if you add the information that the people who build the impressive structures in the city require a good education to help them become the architects of these impressive buildings. The hospitals are necessary to keep the imaginative thinkers and innovators who help develop the city healthy so that they can help the city continue to flourish. These reasons seem to me, to be the most convincing of all the reasons to prioritize the schools and hospitals in the city over the buildings and other impressive structures.

Now for some grammar correction :-)

This is because those can be an REPRESENT THE identity of a town , which IS capable to attract OF ATTRACTING tourists THAT CAN increase government revenue

since THE tourism sector has given a large contribution for CONTRIBUTES A LARGE PART OF the income of city

Taking THE Eiffel tower in Paris as an example

r,[S ]since WHO wanted to A capture moment at Eiffel which was IS the one of seven wonders on Earth.

I believe that THE improvement of schools and hospitals should be prioritized,

Firstly, s Schools give knowledge which is useful to gain IN GAINING A better life in the future.

who want IF ONE WANTS to be a minister of finance ONE must understand how to organize gaining THE ECONOMICS of THE country, and surely the horizon of this THAT KNOWLEDGE CAN only can be obtained at school.

HospitalS is ARE also needed

facilities for inhabitants CITIZENS, and definitely mankind who BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO ARE healthy can do whatever they want.

individuals will not able to go to THE office if they are getting sick.

buildings are AN essential element for a city,

yet I believe that


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