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There is an opinion that social networking sites have an adverse effect on people and the community


Hoang Viet 1 / -  
Jun 7, 2021   #1

social networking sites and their negative impact



In recent years, social media has become an indispensable part of our life but there is an opinion that social networking sites have an adverse effect on people and the community. In this essay, I strongly agree with this notion due to the following rationales.

To start with, we slowly become slaves for the internet. Individuals have spent hours on it because these sites are so tempting, wasting our precious time. Even on streets, people hold their phone everywhere they go. This is dangerous when they are not concentrating on the road and could cause accidents. Also, most teenagers nowadays spend excessive amounts of time on web surfing, chatting or playing video games with strangers, becoming isolated with the family and turning into depression. Therefore, it is evident that social-media addiction has serious implications for people.

Furthermore, the community can be harmed. With the rise of social media, the rate of crime also increases, they invade social networking sites and their target are the teenagers who played or chatted with them through games, web. Moreover, hackers can infiltrate the profiles of celebrities and blackmail them or even trick kids to kidnap them and extort their families.

To conclude, social networking sites are still developing with huge influence on society. I believe we should use social media properly and be more careful while using such websites.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,933 3567  
Jun 8, 2021   #2
notion due to the following rationales.

This does not offer clear supporting reasons for your opinion. Try to offer a summary of your discussion topics to help create a clear discussion oulline for your essay. That way, the reviewer can asses if your reasons are relevant to your opinion. 2 supporting reasons representing 2 body paragraphs will be sufficient in accomplishing this task. Excellent work on the measured response by the way.

we slowly become slaves for the internet.

LR and GRA error:

for - Preposition; with the object or purpose of

of - Preposition; used to indicate cause, motive, occasion, or reason

You are referring to the latter so :

... become slaves OF the...

has serious implications

Due specific C + C requirements, mention safety / physical, and mental heaeth hazards. The sentence needs a clear connecting reference for the previous discussions.

rate of crime also increases,

This reference needs supporting explanations. You presentation in this section requires increased explanations and shorter, more related examples.

I believe

You forgot toinclude your extent restatement in the summary.

be more carefu

summarize the reasons in relation to this. You are trying to present a reverse paraphrase to assist in TA scoring increase.


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