I somewhat disagree with this idea
You cannot partially with an idea, then provide a definite reason with such strong support. The supporting idea should instead refer to the partial disagreement or, in this case, partial agreement instead. The sentence formation should reflect a partial sentiment as well.
Human relationships are improving successfully via social networks.
To create the correct response reason format say: ...are partially successful in improving... That response reflects your partial idea. The problem is, your thesis statement does not align with the provided discussion instruction.
Now, on to the reasoning paragraphs that will cause the essay to fail.
The first 2 reasons are invalid because these discuss methods of relationship bonding. The discussion is all about the amount of time spent on the websites. nobody was disagreeing with the fact that social media improves relationships. It is the amount of time people spend on the silts that they disagree about. This is only properly discussed in the 3rd paragraph. That is the only time related discussion presented.
The relevant paragraph is not properly developed and contradicts itself. These are the reasons why the writer has written a long but failing essay.