Families who send their children to private school should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent to you agree or disagree?
Private Schools and Taxes
Education is not just an individual' acquirement. Moreover, it is beneficial for society because educated people mostly will use their skills on a useful purpose for society after graduating. There are two types of schools which are private and public school. Some people think that if someone pays for a private school, he or she also supports the state education system even before graduating. Therefore, she or he should not pay taxes.
Firstly, some people think that payment made for private schools should be count as a tax, and taxes given by them should reduce. He or she provides money and money will be used for education. Due to payment maded for beneficial circumstance for all, people should not pay extra money to other things goverment provides such as making a library. For instance, a person who was going to private school gave money to the private school, and the private school spent the money to buy computers or books to everyone. New students will use books or computers which paid by graduated people, so graduated people did not just pay for their education. Also, the government provides support for public schools to the expenses. It means that the government gives money to public schools from taken money from citizens. However, for a private school, expenses fulfill by students; so, the government is reducing money given the education system.
On the other hand, some people believe that paying for taxes and private schools cannot be counted in the same situation. Purpose of private schools is earning money from students. Nearly every private schools are a profitable business for owners of private schools. For instance, a person is paying for a private school; however, paid money is not going to the education system mostly. So it cannot be accounted for as taxes.
As a result, some people believe that payments for private schools should count as a tax because of investments made for the education system. Moreover, every government supports public schools with taxes. On the contrary, some people think that payment for a private school is not using for education system because their purpose is earning money. Taxes need to taken from the same as other citizens. I believe that private schools created as a business model. Therefore, we need to pay equal taxes, does not matter going to a private school or public school
I do not understand how I need to participate in the essay with my idea. Can you help me with that? Thanks. Have a nice day.@emins
Hi! I can help you with your writing. I hope you truly find this feedback helpful for your writing endeavors. If you do, you can come back to us for more assistance.
Firstly, the introductory paragraph had issues concerning structure and flow. Notice how you had changed the perspective utilized in writing midway of this portion. Avoid doing this shift of character as it can appear to be an informal act to readers. Opt to write with intent.
Your second paragraph, while has a lot of valuable content and analysis, is too overbearing because of all of the information packed into the writing. I suggest triing to be more suggestive by simplifying the details. Overexplaining will not be beneficial for you.
@emins
Hello! I have some suggestions to improve your essay.
1. You should not explain anything in the introductory paragraph but save it to the later ones. The first one should only be a brief introduction to which topic you would address in the essay.
2. individual' individual
3. There aremany repetitive words in one sentence like private school, tax, money. You should use synonyms.
4. Since the task asks for your opinion (agree or disagree) you should state your view instead of how "some people think" or "some people believe"
5. There should be a seperate paragraph for your conclusion.
6. There are quite many grammatical errors in your essay. I think you'd better check it again
