Please comment on my essay so that I can learn and improve it.
Some people believe that schools should only teach their students subjects that will be important to their students' future careers or jobs. In my opinion, however, all general subjects should be all taught to students for several reasons.
To begin with, students are required to acquire fundamental knowledge to be prepared for life after graduation. Even though general subjects may not be directly related to students' careers or jobs, they provide students comprehensiveness to deal with their jobs after they graduate. In the job market, it requires multiple skills and knowledge to cope with specific tasks. Knowing only majors seems insufficient for an employee. For example, a company would rather hire an engineering student with a high level of understanding soft skills and communication and some IT knowledge than a student who only know about his major and nothing else.
The second reason is that learning all general subjects can broaden students' horizon in many fields so that they can be good problem solvers. As we have seen, knowledge in one field is usually in a close connection to that in another. For example, you have an engineering degree and so your main task is to either solve engineering problems or design some machines. This is when maths and physics, which are fundamental subjects but not major ones in engineering classes, come into a play. You even need some literature knowledge to present your engineering proposal in a readable manner. Therefore, career-related subjects cannot come alone as to support your careers.
The last but not least, training with all general knowledge will practice students to process many fields to deal with a single problem including their life ones. Knowing general subjects simply widens students' perspectives. It is assured that looking any problem for an appropriate solution from the same angle does not always help. By knowing a lot of general knowledge, students can take advantage of each field and apply into their own situations. That is exactly how we should deal with life problems.
In conclusion, I believe that teaching students general subjects will benefit them the most as compared to better than teaching only major-related subjects because it provides them fundamental knowledge, broadens their horizon and widens their perspectives in solving many problems. While teaching only careers may reduce the burden of learning on students, educating general subjects as well is a wise investment for them.
This is an excellent essay. Although the essay flows well from top to bottom there are few errors. It does not matter though because the essay is very laconic, written well and have strong arguments. What i did not like is the opinion part if you ask me i would have written it this way "Majority advocates the idea of teaching all the general subjects" instead of " In my opinion, however, all general subjects should be all taught to students for several reasons. "
Thank you Eric2750230, I really appreciate it. I do not have much time now and have to review fast before the test. I cannot check my own essay for any errors because it is almost impossible for me to find out my own mistakes. Having others looked at it is more feasible. I will come over your essay
