Opinion on using social media networks at offices.

Topic :

Some companies block their employees from using social media networks and websites such as Facebook.

Do you think managers should trust employees to use time wisely, or do you think it is smart of companies to block access to some sites? Provide reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Nowadays, many offices apply strict rules on workers, some of them even forbid their employees from using social media networks and websites such as Facebook. In fact, this helps worker to pay attention highly on their duties. Supervisors and managers are worry that those websites can stop their workers from finishing assignments and starting conversations with friends. It may reduce effective hours in working environment and disturb other workers doing on processes. They understand perfectly the drawbacks of being neglected which can lead to negative feedback from customers, deadline lateness, profit recession of a company, ...

According to my opinion, managers shouldn't trust employees to use time wisely, because this decision can be seen as a threat to the whole company's profit and work efficiency but blocking accesses to those websites completely is not necessary. Due to the development of internet and social media networking, it't couldn't be deny that social media websites like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, ... do not only act as entertaining tools, they are places to find the potential costumers. They can be a very effective environment for users especially business man to explore and develop relationships with consumers. Base on the experience that app developers provided, buyers can communicate with sellers, be notified of the latest trend or products, promotions, ... They can also write comments, reviews, express their feeling or opinions on products helping suppliers aware of their mistake and how to provide a better service. There are a lot more advantages of social medias providing to industries, more and more people are using them to shopping, finding feedback, consulting providers for products' information, ... Customers require a more quickly and convenient purchasing methods which are now provided excellently by social media networks. Through these websites, thousands of questions and reviews appears just by clicking a button, thousands of questions for providers are sent by potential consumers. Workers should always be online in order to post answers, new contents and solve problems.

Managers should only forbid their employees on chatting and doing their entertaining activities by blocking accesses by personal accounts or allow workers to use these sites at specific hours. Prohibitions create a more stressful working atmosphere - one of the most common reasons for lowering their working efficiency. Social media networks should be utilized as a modern type of market and connection between producers, business and consumers, ... Depend on the final result of business activities, fields and concept of duties, managers can create a suitable solution for using social media networking. In conclusion, blocking social media sites is not considered a good solution to improve profits. On the other hand, It can be counterproductive. Allowing employees to use it with supervisors and logical restrictions is seen as a better way not only helping to increase revenue but also working spirit.

Hello,
Your essay is great but there are a few errors associated with your grammar.
In the first paragraph:
- "In fact, this helps workerS to pay attention highly on TO their duties."
- "Supervisors and managers are worry that....."
- "... hours in THE working environment..."
In the second paragraph:
- "... but blocking accesses to those websites ..."
- " Due to the development of THE internet and social media networking, it't IT couldn't be deny
DENIED
- "... business man BUSSINESSMEN to explore..."
- "... advantages of social medias providing ..."
- "... and reviews appears just by..."
In the last paragraph:
- "... forbid their employees on FROM ..."
- "In conclusion, ... is seen as a better way not only helping ... spirit. TO HELP INCREASE NOT ONLY REVENUE BUT ALSO WORKING SPIRIT.

That's all from me. I hope you will check your grammar more carefully next time. Bye.

Thanks a lot for your comment. I'll check it carefully.

You are only expected to give a simple 4-5 paragraph discussion of the topic provided. That means, you have to write between 275-290 words. 250 as a minimum for the TOEFL test. For an IELTS test, that should be done within 40 minutes. For the TOEFL test, 30 minutes. You definitely cannot write an effective reasoning essay, free of grammar errors within either time limit covering 462 words. You are not writing a research paper, just a simple opinion paper based on personal information, public knowledge, or observations.

You must familiarize yourself with how an English exam essay is formatted before you proceed with your next practice tests. While you have good reasons, examples, and discussions, your presentation is marred by the incorrect punctuation usage. It is already a common error among ESL writers to use a comma and ellipses one after another in a sentence presentation. You have to remember that is incorrect punctuation usage. You can only use one punctuation mark at a time. For example:

I said no, then I thought about it again that night...

The ellipses are better used in creative writing as these are used to convey a pause in a thought process, emphasize a dialogue, or heighten the emotion of a scene, none of which are applicable in academic paper writing.

The reference "according to", means you heard the information from someone else and are relaying the same to your listener / reader. In this case, you are the primary source of the information so you cannot say "According to me" as that is incorrect grammar. Just say "In my opinion", which is the correct phrase to use to start off a personal explanation.

Thank you for your advice Mr.Holt. I'll check it carefully.