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IELTS Task 2: Opinion on wearing uniforms in schools


MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jul 8, 2013   #1
Topic: Wearing uniforms is popular in schools, but some people argue that it might cause damage to children's individuality. What is your opinion?

Uniforms are often regarded as an integral part of various educational institutions today. In my opinion, far from eliminating individuality, students can derive huge benefits from wearing uniforms.

To begin with, one obvious advantage that wearing uniforms brings about is the lower rates of bullying problems linked to clothes. There is no doubt that each school consists of a myriad of students from different family backgrounds, of which those from affluent households are able to show off the most stylish outfits. This has led to the fact that less fortunate students feel inferior to others and sometimes they become the victims of bullying due to their ordinary clothes. Thanks to the use of uniforms, bullies are effortlessly tackled and the economic discrepancy between students seems to be no more a thorny issue. Accordingly, uniforms contribute to promoting unity amongst children.

Meanwhile, some children claim that wearing uniforms would limit their individuality and by wearing regular clothes are they entitled to express their personality. However, it is academic knowledge that should be placed emphasis on when it comes to school rather than expression of egoism. In fact, if children are allowed to wear any kinds of clothes, then there is a rise in the competition for becoming the trendiest one in their schools and their academic performance is likely to be sacrificed as a consequence. Briefly, wearing similar clothes enables students to focus on their main targets of going to schools rather than other external factors.

To sum up, I would have to reiterate the importance of school uniforms. On the grounds that they encourage a sense of unity and concentration of school-goers, I believe that wearing them should be maintained as a rule.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jul 8, 2013   #2
Thanks to the use of uniforms, bullies are effortlessly tackled and the economic discrepancy between students seems to be no more a thorny issue.

I wish you termed that differently , in a more simple tone to match the idea.
Thanks to the use of uniforms, bullies are effortlessly tackled and social differances between students no more become a thorny issue.
This is very good writing. You can surely go for a very good score. Also, please post your IELTS Essays into Writing Feedback forum.
rozha 15 / 34  
Jul 10, 2013   #3
it is really a very good writing....it is a short passage...but it is so meaningful....thank u .,,,,,i can take benefit from it for IELTS.
jkjeremy - / 380 72  
Jul 10, 2013   #4
one obvious advantage

If it's "obvious," then you need not cite it.

This is one key difference between a seven and an eight. (Am I correct that IELTS scores on a nine-point scale?)
OP MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jul 11, 2013   #5
Thank you for correcting my essay! I appreciate all your suggestions!

Am I correct that IELTS scores on a nine-point scale?

Yes, you are correct. Some kinds of redundant words will reduce my score


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