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Opinions of the elderly vs the young - IELTS ACADEMIC Writing Task 2.

thuylinh050900 1 / -  
Nov 24, 2019   #1

the old vs modern way of thinking

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think, and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

One more useless thread title = ban

It is true that many older people believe in traditional values with the old way of thinking, however, many of these are not suitable young generations. While I agree that some traditional points of view are out-to-date, I completely believe that they still have been valuable for the young to have better lives in modern society.

On the one hand, it is evident that some traditional views from elder people have become less useful and suitable for the young to apply for their lives these days. The first unreasonable view is that sexual discrimination between man and women. In the past, for example, many people always had the desire for giving birth boys, who can maintain family lineage. Nevertheless, nowadays this traditional tendency has disappeared gradually due to contemporary society has dismissal the gender discrimination. Second, definitions about LGBT are becoming more popular in the modern era, whereas these are not accepted by those who have very traditional ideas. Because these traditional opinions can limit the right of people in LGBT, leading to inappropriateness in modern society.

On the other hand, although older generations have some outdated ideas which are unlikely to exist in the contemporary world, there are still some values and traditions that are useful to young people. Many characteristics of the elderly are likely to be essential for the young to learn and apply. A good example is that some values such as honesty, hard work, respecting everyone are meaningful lessons taught by previous generations and they should be inherited. Furthermore, there is a great deal of useful knowledge from the experiences of previous generations conveyed to youngsters. For example, in Vietnam, after giving birth many women will be looked after effectively by traditional methods, which was used for many years ago.

In conclusion, for the reason I have mentioned above, I believe that we should not dismiss all of the traditional opinions of the elderly, instead of that the young should learn the most feasible and suitable viewpoints.

Maria - / 1,100 389  
Nov 25, 2019   #2
Welcome to the site! I hope that this feedback of mine will give you a better idea on how to improve your writing in totality. If you are able to do this, please don't hesitate to approach and ask me for additional details.

The first paragraph can still be improved if you are able to be more technical with your manner of writing. For instance, that first sentence should be divided into two different ones to create more organization in your writing. Afterwards, try to be more specific with what information you're trying to introduce. For instance, what are these traditional points of view that you were trying to reiterate? If you are more descriptive and specific, it would help a lot with your writing.

The same concepts should be applied everywhere else in your writing. If we take a look at your current third paragraph, it clear how you were still unable to relay information properly. The third sentence, for instance, still needs to be heavily improved. Be more consistent with the formatting that you're using in your words, especially when working with bulky content. This will tremendously help in creating that formal imagery that people are typically seeking for when they are writing.

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