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Nowadays, we all have the opportunity to learn things by ourselves using several sources.


alessandra_dac 1 / 4  
May 1, 2019   #1
Can someone please correct this essay? Thank you.

learning methods comparison



Nowadays, we all have the opportunity to learn things by ourselves using several sources.
Finding the informations we need is really simple. The good old libraries and book stores are still very helpful. Furthermore, books can be substituted by ebooks that can be stored in our phones and tablets.

The informations we need can also be found in Intenet without spending money. The web is full of free material: there are plenty of sites, videos and podcasts about all the topics we can imagine.

I have no doubt that learning by ourselves has never been so easy.
Learning by ourselves has another great advantage: we can study whenever we want and manage our study time how we want. For example, we can consult a site during our brake from work or while we are travelling. If we have a tight deadline we can also study at night.

Nevertheless, learning with a teacher has benefits too. Teachers have a greater knowledge. He is well-qualified and prepared. He has the ability to convey in a clear and concise way. A teacher can also solve our doubts with the right answers, help us with the most difficul topics and motivate us.

On the opposite, we have to meet the teacher's need regarding the organization of the lessons and the time spent with him is obviously limited.

To sum up, learning with a teacher has greater advantages and it's the learning method I prefer.

TriceLiu 6 / 13 8  
May 2, 2019   #2
Make your essay more academic by avoiding "we" and "I".
For example: 1. Nowadays, we all have the opportunity to ... The availability of information through various sources enables people to learn by themselves.

2. I have no doubt that learning ...
Yet self-learning is not easy.
Also, you should have explained the bullet sentence "I have no doubt that ... so easy."; You may elaborate the difficulties people may go through when they try to teach themselves.

You have generated some brilliant ideas. Explain and justify them.
Maria [Contributor] - / 262 131  
May 2, 2019   #3
@alessandra_dac
Try to merge together similar sentences to create more substantive paragraphs. Alongside this, you should also create a more inductive pattern for your essay. Doing so will enable you to have more direction and flow as you are curating your sentences. Once you have done this, I would also recommend that you add a brief introduction to what the structure of your essay would be right from the beginning. You only introduced this portion at the end of your essay as a concluding remark. I would recommend that you try to incorporate it earlier so that the development of your content would be directed towards this.

Let's try to revise a couple of parts:
Nowadays, we have the opportunity to learn things by ourselves using multiple ways. While libraries and book stores are helpful, there is increased accessibility to information because of digitization. The internet has made learning materials free to use.

[...]
Learning by ourselves lets us manage our time. We can study when it's most productive for us - whether it's in consulting sites during work breaks or travel days. This has also allowed us to study at night if we run on tight deadlines.


While it's important to have concise language when you're writing, it's also important to keep an academic tone. Ensuring that you have conventional sentence structures is a fruitful way to hit both at the same time.

Keep these in mind as you are writing. Best of luck.
OP alessandra_dac 1 / 4  
May 2, 2019   #4
@TriceLiu
thank you so much for your advice. I'll make treasure of them

@Maria
you pointed out my weakness: the lack of academic tone! I'm also scared of long paragraphs, I'm afraid that the message gets confused.

Thank you for your precious advice, hope you can help me with my next essay.


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