People are optimistic about 21st century. Many people think it is a good opportunity to find positive change in future. How do you think of the optimism? What changes would you like to be made in the new century?
The first decade of the 21st century has witnessed a series of great changes made by human races. Thus, a great number of people firmly believe that we will keep up this upward trend, achieving incredible goals in the next 90 years.
This is not groundless when we consider the fact that technology, the main driving force behind productivity, has been developing in a variety of fields, from medical care meeting people's basic demand to space exploration closely related to the achievement of human being's initial dream. This means people's potentials in different areas can be exploited to a larger extent. Therefore, it is not unrealistic to expect more powerful and productive innovations to be developed in future, tackling problems people are confronted with today.
Also, people in the new era have opened up their minds to new things, instead of staying conservative and resisting changes. In fact, people focus more on how to follow the new trend and benefit from the changes eventually. In other words, they attempt to keep positive to changes, regarding them as valuable chances to succeed.
On the other hand, some people may hold a pessimistic attitude to the emergence of positive changes. They argue that people in the modern society tend to seek fame and wealth, becoming increasingly cold and selfish, which would drive up a series of social problems, such as crime or loneliness. In such cases, it would be tough to achieve positive changes.
Personally, I am still looking forward to positive changes in future when people can care more others and the whole society. To be more precise, I suppose the environmental problems would be eventually addressed with technological advances and more importance people have attached to the earth. Also, I expect scientists would explore more space on another planet for human beings to live in.
Nice job, Jennifer... you don't need any help, really.
It's time to look at the good books: Strunk and White The Elements of Style
also
Stephen King's On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft
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Hi, Jennifer..It's my first time here.
I'm a IELTs examinee, worrying about my weak writing skills, and I really gained a lot from ur eassays.
I find it is truly a necessity to practise more, so I will make use of this place and hope you will give me some valuable advices.:)
Welcome to our community, Jie Zhang! I think people will learn a lot from you, too!
Whenever you want to practice, post an essay and we'll find your errors. :-D
Hi Kevin.
I have just wandered into your site and have been reviewing the short essay by Jennifer Zhang. I have an MA in TESL and a M.Sc in Mgt and have taught EAP (English for academic purposed) in both the pre and in sessional form for the past 15 years in the UK university system. Can I be of help with your editing?
In respect to Ms. Zhang's work, she makes some good points but her introduction and conclusion are incorrectly structured. She should state her thesis and her argument position and her form of writing in the introduction, not in the conclusion. A conclusion is a synthesis of arguments made in the body and can not be used to introduce new arguments. Please advise.
Thanks.
Roger Bishop
Excellent, Roger, we're lucky to have your participation here!
Jennifer, do you understand the advice Roger is giving here?
She should state her thesis and her argument position and her form of writing in the introduction, not in the conclusion. A conclusion is a synthesis of arguments made in the body and can not be used to introduce new arguments. Please advise.
Try to give a sentence near the end of that first paragraph that will express to the reader the most important idea you want to share -- the idea that answers the prompt.
Also, a conclusion can be a synthesis/summary of what has been said, but it can also add "something extra" for the reader to think about.
But I think Roger's most important suggestion is that, in English, it is best to give that "most important idea" in the introduction paragraph. I have heard that in eastern culture people communicate in a more indirect way, but in western culture they communicate in a very direct, concrete way. Since we are writing in English, let's use the LAST sentence of the first paragraph to give the THESIS STATEMENT.
:-)
Hi,
Thank you very much Jennifer Zhang, for your essay. I am a beginner of English writings. I learned many more form these comments, its very helpful to my writings.
Thanks everyone.
Roger Bishop
Hi, Roger, I haven't been here for about 2 months and I just read your advisable comment here. It's a pity that I haven't read your advice earlier.Thank you so much .I hope you could still give your valuable advice to my essays.
Best Wishes:)
