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In order to have a better future, every high school student should take at least one economic course


shiyayewu 1 / -  
Aug 18, 2013   #1
Thanks for correcting my TOEFL writing ^~~^!!

As a famous saying goes that economy determines the superstructure,economics plays an unique role in our daily life,from stock market to supermarket,from bank to home,and from sky to the ground. Since its great importance,many schools have variety kinds of courses on economics,with universities and high schools included.So there is a boiling debate on whether all high school students should take a basic economic course.Though some people claim that a waste of time ,I totally disagree with them,that is to say,it is so necessary for high students to take a course in basic economics.

Firstly,it is only a basic course,yet not a major subject,so it won't take a large amount of time consuming on it.I admit that learning a new subject will certainly decrease the period of time which is intended on other classes:math,physics,chemistry and so on. However,it does not take so long and nearly everyone can deal with it.For example, I learned Japanese last year,which means a new language for me.I listened to Japanese classes every weekday night which I used to shopping ,talking ,or playing basketball,and finally I passed an N2 test,approving that I manage my time well.

Besides,economics help to ease our life.Generally speaking, economics is a way to spend money and earn money,with currencies included.With economics theories,we choose to buy sweaters in summer and T-shirts in winter for their lower prices;we get to know why there exists currency explosion and how to avoid devaluation;and we also learn how to investigate in stock market,through with may have a higher possibility to earn money.

Of course,money does not mean everything, but it does mean something.People all prospect to be millionaires, With enough money, one can actually lead an exceptionable life.For instance,he don't need to stay in the office all day long ,and can travel to all mountains with the height of over 7000 meters,or even outer space;and he can also buy a big farm where he might live a healthier life.

However,all of the above could be just imaginary affairs if one has not learned an economic theory and knows nothing about how to make money faster,easier,and safer.So as far as I am concerned, in order to have a better future,every high school student should take at least one economic course,especially the basic economics.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 18, 2013   #2
Hi
You better include your prompt with your essay for us to understand what it expects from you. Then we can align our feedback more with your task requirements.

SinceDue to its great importance,many schools have variety kindsnumber of courses on economics,with universities and high schools included.

.... As I mentioned above it is difficult to comment this, but I feel you have gone out of topic. :(

Though some people claim that a waste of time ,I totally disagree with them,that is to say,it is so necessary for high students to take a course in basic economics.

Don't lengthen your sentences unnecessarily. Clarity is the most important aspect of sentence structures.
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Aug 18, 2013   #3
Firstly,it is only a basic course,yet not a major subject,so it won't take a large amount of time consuming on it.

First, since a basic economics course would be intended for providing students with a general understanding of economics, the students would not have to spend much time and effort on following such a course.

.I admit that learning a new subject will certainly decrease the period of time which is intended on other classes:math,physics,chemistry and so on. However,it does not take so long and nearly everyone can deal with it.

.... you are repeating the same idea over and over again. I feel you need to pay lots of attention to your essay structure. Dumi has provided others with a very logical structure for TOEFL and IELTS. Hope you can find it here on EF.


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