Some organization believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.
Discuss both these views and give you own opinion
Nowadays, many factories can be found in the industrial city in several countries. Many companies think that it is important to have law about uniform standardization for employees, but several corporations believe that they must have work-spaces with the best quality to make other companies respect to them. Personally, I think in one organisation is essential to have high quality workers, but with the uniform standardization every employee can be manage their appearance and it can give positive effect for a company.
Several organizations say that staff members must use the dress smartly, especially uniform. Because with good looking employees, they can make other companies respect to them and they can be famous in another group with good rules for their work-spaces. But I think, companies should be smart to make this rule, because organizations have several division with different duties. So, for people such as in the oil and gas company when they must go to field to survey or data acquisition, they do not need to wear uniform.
However, there are other corporations that say they need higher quality of workers than appearance. Because some organisations need good workers to develop and to give new innovation to improve quality of companies. For instance, geophysics Survey Company need the best employees in the field to find a unique data. They do not have some rules about dress smartly for their staff members and just thinking employees can do their job in precise time.
To sum up, uniform rules is significant to increase status corporations, but quality of work from workers is very essential to develop companies.
Nowadays, many factories can be found in the industrial ...this statement does not have any relation to dress smartly .
... staff members must use the dress smartly dress smartly, ...
But I think, companies should be smart to make this rule, because [....] they do not need to wear uniform.
it is concession or supporting statement for you idea? if it is concession, i think you need more statement to support your idea since the case is both views so you need to make your idea balance. but if it is supporting statement for your idea, it's too contrast with your idea.
To sum up, uniform rules is significant to increase ...
To make better essay, you have to create at least 2 sentences in conclusion.
Hii, here is my advice for your writing:
1. Nowadays, many factories in the industrial city can be found in the industrial city in several countries.
2. Many (it makes repetition, it's better to change with "some" ) some .....
3. Personally, I think in one organisationit is essential to have high quality ... (your TS still confusing, what's your opinion? agree or disagree? )
4. To sum up, uniform rules is significant to increase status corporations, but quality...
( at the end, after give conclusion, you should put your suggestion or fear )
I think you did it well, good job!
Hello Willy!
Allow me to give you some suggestion.
But I think, companies should be smart to make this rule, [....] data acquisition, they do not need to wear uniform.
1. It is so contradictive with your first statement willy, you have to consistent since this is in same body paragraph. It will better if you say this as your personal statement in new body.
2. Make it well developed. Give you idea, reason, example, than the effect, much better you add conclusion.
->Personally, I think in one organisation is essential to have high quality workers, but ...
->To sum up, uniform rules is significant to increase status corporations, but quality of work ...
You have to be consisten, since your introduction and conclusion, have contradiction statement. Even you do not have to make clear to what extend you, at least you have to make your introduction and conclusion relate.
I hope it can help you willy!
Keep practice for make it perfect :*
HELLO WILLY :)
Here are my suggestion for you writing, hope it will be useful for you next time :)
Overall, I really enjoy your essay, but I think there are some parts in your introduction that your not give clearly explanation.
Nowadays, many factories can be found in the industrial city in several countries. ==> Will be better if you can give some addition after this statement.
I also find some words that your repeat again in same paragraph,Better if you use other words to boost your lexical resources points :)
... it is important to have law about uniform standardization for employees, but several corporations (...) to make other companies respect to them.
... but with the uniform standardization every employee can be manage ...
..., they can make othercompanies respect to them and they can be...
Keep Practice Willy :)
