Task 1: Outokompu share price between 2006 and 2010

The chart illustrates the Outokompu stock price trend over a five-year period from 2006 to 2010 and is measured in Euro. Overall, it can be seen that, despite some fluctuations, the rate reached the peak in the end 2006 and almost virtually the highest score in the middle 2008 before jumped dramatically for the next following years.

First of all, the price stood at around €12 in early January 2006. Then, 2006 saw a significant rise in stock price with the level reaching the peak of more than €30 in the end of 2006. By 2007, it had fallen to approximately €22.

There was a significant improve during the first semester 2008 which was the second highest price. Then, it jumped sharply to €6 which was the lowest of that year. However, this figure increased dramatically over 6 months in 2009, but there was then a fluctuation until in the middle of 2010. Following this, the stock price was a virtually steady to finish the period at €11 that the level almost back to the starting point in early 2006.

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Hi, Yogi
You have good ability in writting essay, especially for writting IELTS taks 1. However, I found a sentence that it should not exist in the overview.

and almost virtually the highest score in the middle 2008

In my opinion, it is not an important part of the pattern. Maybe you could put this sentence in body 1 or 2.

still 2 sentences, your paragraph will be weak if you only present 2 sentences in a paragraph, remember to always make a minimum THREE paragraph before moving to next one, otherwise it will give a bad effect on your band score.

three sentences can possibly contain a strong and solid paragraph rather than only using 2 sentences by using more complex sentences.

consider these changes:

The line chart illustrates.... Overall, it can be seen that.... Furthermore, the line chart virtually... (remember VIRTUALLY and ALMOST have the same meaning, pick one of them)


confusing sentence..

consider this:
Following this, the stock price was virtually steady to finish the period at €11, while the level almost back to the initial point in early 2006.

Overall, your writing presents the adequate information about the line graph. Keep up the Good Work! :D

it can be devide to two sentences.

ex:

The chart illustrates the Outokompu stock price trend over a five-year period from 2006 to 2010. The value was measured in Euro.

Yogi, you lack sentences in the introduction in order to qualify it as a proper report summary. You should have reviewed your essay upon completing the written task. If you had done so, you would have noticed that the essay could have been better divided in terms of sentence content in order to meet the minimum sentence requirement per paragraph. You just needed a minimum of 3 sentences per paragraph to have made the overall essay gain a better score.

Please refer to my suggested revisions for your consideration :

.. end OF 2006
and almost virtually WHICH WAS the highest
... IT jumped dramatically...
... for OVER the next following...

...

... a significant improve IMPROVEMENT
... first semester OF 2008
... months in UNTIL 2009,
... until in the middle of 2010.
... was a virtually steady AND to finishED the period at €11.
... that the THE level WAS almost...

Always remember to check your work after you complete the written task to make sure that you have met all the requirements prior to submission for grading.