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Overall, the most Bulgarians who tend to leave their country finished education at secondary level


ashelarisa48 36 / 52 4  
Aug 28, 2016   #1
Writing IELTS task 1 : level of education of Bulgarians planning to leave Bulgaria

The bar chart shows information about the percentage of Bulgarians planning to leave Bulgaria based on level of education between 2002 and 2008.

The highest number of Bulgarians who leave Bulgaria was from secondary level in 2002 at 65 percent. It decreased gradually from 65 percent in 2002 to 59 percent in 2008. On the contrary, the percentage of Bulgarians in primary and lower education constantly went up gradually from 2002 to 2006 and up again dramatically from 2006 to 2008 at 32 percent. Compared to other level of education and other year, the lowest number of Bulgarians was from higher education at only 9 percent in 2008.

Overall, The most Bulgarians who tend to leave Bulgaria was from secondary education, although it had a gradual decrease year by year. The number of Bulgarians from primary and lower education had always increased every year, while the number of Bulgarians in higher education was fluctuated.






akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Aug 29, 2016   #2
... planning to leave Bulgaria based on levelS of education between 2002 and 2008. IN THREE SEPARATED YEARS; 2002, 2006, AND 2008.

Overall, The most Bulgarians who [...] in higher education was fluctuated.

I suggest you write the overview in the first sentence because I worry that your time is running out when you wanna locate it at the last sentence. On condition that you passed that, you will not get the score more than 5.5. One of main targets in the writing task 1 is How you provide the general view about your data.

THESE ARE MY ALTERNATIVE SENTENCES TO FINALIZE YOUR WRITING:
THE BAR CHART HIGHLIGHTS THE PERCENTAGE OF BULGARIAN WHO WILL SETTLE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY, BASED ON DEGREES OF EDUCATION IN THREE SEPARATED YEARS; 2002, 2006, AND 2008. OVERALL, IT CAN BE SEEN THAT STUDENTS OF SECONDARY SCHOOLS TEND TO CONTINUE THEIR FUTURE PLAN ABROAD. IN ANY CASE, THERE WAS A SIGNIFICANT GROWTH IN INTEREST OF THE STUDENTS FOR THE PRIMARY AND LOWER EDUCATION IN THIS TIMELINE.


... who leave Bulgaria was from THE secondary level in ...
It HAD decreased gradually from ...
On the contrary, IN THE CONTRAST, the percentage of Bulgarians in primary and lower education constantly went HAD GONE up gradually from ... Compared to ANother level of education and ANother year, the lowest number ...

Miss Ashela, I am afraid of the number of your word in this writing (154 words). Generally, the writing task 1 consists between 170 and 180 words. Please, you call your attention to that. On the one side, you write 2 sentences for the body paragraph. I have seen that you only explain the data in ONE Body Paragraph. Please, you strive to add once more the next time.

Keep Spirit.
Gogg Luck


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