The world's natural resources are being consumed at an ever-increasing rate
In our contemporary life, the overconsumption of natural resources has become a topic of concern. This alarming trend has a lot of negative impacts our world, so drastic actions must be taken to cope with this issue.
Firstly, It is clearly evident that the increasingly high level of exploitation of natural resources cause damage to the environment. For instance, we have witnessed enormous floods in several region in Vietnam which swept away houses, eroded land and caused many deaths due to the deforestation. Not only that, it also has bad influences on the economy, due to the fact that the government have to spend much money and make an effort to rehibiliate damage after floods. Secondly, scientists claimed that the world's natural resources such as fossil fuel, water, and so on are limited, and the most obvious threat is that these resources will come to the brink of exhaustion. When oil becomes scarce and more expensive, transports and many daily necessity would become less accessible and affordable for most people. The shortage of resources also leads to stagnency in industry, for example, there would be not enough wood to manufacturing papers, furniture,... and not enough seafood for people's consumption. This may affect significantly the business of thousands of companies, as well as occupations of millions of people.
However, some measures can be taken to tackle the issue of over-consuming natural resources. The most practical remedy is to lower demand for energy in every household. The government should carry out campaigns and use various media channels to raise public awareness about saving energy. Besides, alternative sources of energy from solar, wind, nuclear should be developed to reduce our dependence on fossil fuel. In addition, for instance, solar cells are now sold in a small quantity and at a relatively high price; they should be made readily available and cheaper for the public.
To conclude, the overexploitation of natural resources may result in many serious consenquences, threating many industries and people's lives. Therefore, strong measures such as reducing energy consumption and altering non-renewable energy should be implemented to deal with this problem.
Paragraph is well organized. There is coherence in sentences. Suggestion: if you are preparing for IELTS/TOFEL you should work on vocabulary and work hard further, otherwise it's excellent.
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There are several problems with your prompt paraphrase and response paragraph. The first, is that you have not accurately represented the prompt information in terms of rephrasing the following:
- The world natural resources are being consumed at an ever-increased rate.
- What are the dangers of this situation?
- What should we do?
There is an unsuccessful outlining of the topic and answers, in topic form, regarding the questions asked. Therefore, the clarity of your paraphrase is not as evident as it should be. The topic was only slightly restated in a proper manner, and the 2 questions were not directly responded to in the paragraph. It is important to deliver direct topic responses as this serves to clarify your discussion points and also, helps keep you on track in terms of response paragraph development.
Now, although you have written 350 words for this task, a number that you cannot complete during an actual test, you failed to deliver on the clarity of your explanation and the coherence of your discussion points. All of the content in your first reasoning paragraph are mere topic sentences, without proper explanation, examples, and discussion development. Therefore, that paragraph is severely under developed. Aim to always use only one clear topic that you can connect to the next paragraph you have to develop. While your reasons in that paragraph are good, the lack of proper explanation and topic development is what will hold back that paragraph from achieving a proper score.
Then there is the problem of the connectivity of your solutions paragraph to the previous discussion. Since you had too many topics presented in the first reasoning paragraph, it is difficult to connect the solution you presented in the next paragraph. Without the connection between the two topics in terms of problem and solution, the solution paragraph does not serve a full purpose in the presentation. That is why you have to pick one cause that you easily connect to your solution paragraph.
Finally, you need to focus on proper spelling, grammar, and sentence clarity in your presentation. These are the additional presentation problems that will prevent you from getting a passing score, even though you did your best to write as many words as you could within 40 minutes. Simply writing a lot of words, without editing them, will result in more errors on your part. That, is what you have to avoid if you want to pass this test.