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Overeating in wealthy countries - a problem that is greater than hunger to other.


Jessi0504 1 / -  
Oct 30, 2016   #1
Topic: Nowaday, overeating becomes a serious problem for the wealthy nations, a problem that is greater than hunger to other. Why is this happening? What can be the solution?

Eating habit has been always the main concern of people in today 's society from the poor to the rich. It is said that overeating in some prosperous countries has been more serious than lack of food issue in the improving nation. This problem results from several reasons and should be tackled by some immediate solutions.

There are many reasons which are responsible for this alarming issue. One is that the high - living standard in developed cities adversely affects modern citizens' eating habit. More specific, people of wealthy nations are living in the most convenient condition, which allows them to get a delicious meal easier and faster than ever. For example, surrounding by numerous restaurant and shopping malls which not only sells traditional food but also specialties from other culture, they are compelled to eat more and enjoy the best in the world. Another underlying reason could be that people being inundated with various advertisements about food on TV, which appeal them to purchase and try new taste of snacks or sweet or any kind of food.

To avoid this problem increasing, the following viable measures should be carried out. The government should raise public awareness about some diseases such as diabetes, obesity causing by overeating habit. Beside that, bad advertisement, which allures consumers to buy unhealthy food, shoud be banned. Eventually, the ultimate solution lies on individuals, each person should balanced their life, resist temptation from ready-to-use food and spare time to have a proper meal.

In conclusion, overeating is now more harmful than the famine in some countiries. It is caused by some social reason and should be solved by plausible solutions.

(274 words)

mem77 62 / 98 6  
Oct 30, 2016   #2
Dear Jessi, here some advices from me and feel free to correct me too!

More specific, people ofin wealthy nations are ... to get a delicious meal easiermore easy and faster than ever.

....which appeal them to purchasepurchasing and trying new taste of snacks or sweet or any kind of foods.

Beside that,the bad advertisement, which allures (...) unhealthy food, shoud be banned. (do not use commas)

(For conclusion, it is better for you to mention the problems and solutions that you written in body 1 and 2)

Regards
ezgifilik 4 / 14  
Oct 30, 2016   #3
Hello,

In general your writing seems well-written. Here is my little correction:

To avoidovercome this problem increasing ---- (I think this fits here better)
Each person should balanced
andika08 81 / 80 16  
Oct 30, 2016   #4
Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections for you

Eating habit has been always the main concern ... -->
The main concern of people today society is eating habit from the poor to the rich people.

This problem results from several reasons and ... -->
This reason comes from the result of several reasons and should be tackled by some immediate solutions.

Another underlying reason that possible was people being inundated with various advertisements about food on TV, which appeal them to purchase and try new taste of snacks or sweet or any kind of foods.

Firstone is that the high - living standard ...

thanks
ifraanisa05 44 / 70 6  
Oct 31, 2016   #5
hai here are my suggestion for your essay

This problem results from several reasons and should be tackled ...
i suggest to emphasise your sentence and give your clear position in your introductory paragraph
this is still unclear position

... than the famine in some countiriescountries. It is caused by ...
i suggest to write down the paraphrase of your introductory paragraph and emphasise it with suggestion it will boost your score in writing
ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Nov 2, 2016   #6
hai jessi
I think it is a good essay
let me give you some advice

Eating habit has been always the main concern of people in ...
nowadays, habits problem in eating is one of the main concerns in society.

One is thatfirst, the high - living standard in ...
For example, surroundingit is surrounded by numerous restaurant (...) also specialties from other cultures , they are compelled ...
Another underlying reason could be that ...

Besidesthat , bad advertisement, (...) unhealthy food, itshoudshould be banned. Eventually, the ultimate solution liesdepends on individuals, each person should be balanced their life, ...

thanks
good job
keep writing


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