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Overpopulation Causes and Solutions; imbalance of employment opportunity and educational resources


roswita116 16 / 37 17  
Oct 30, 2019   #1
Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. This has led to a general decline in the quality of life in city area as the environment becomes more crowded and polluted.

Give some reasons why this growth has occurred and suggest some practical solutions to this problem.



Nowadays, a rate of the majority main cities around the world increases dramatically because of the huge population. This has caused a significant reduction in the quality of life in urban areas. For example, the environment becomes over-populated, and many pollutions have occurred. The following will illustrate the factors of over-populated and how can it be solved.

First of all, the opportunity of employment might be one of the factors. A study shown that organizations tend to set their company in a big city, which can easily earn money and build reputation. Hence, they would like to offer more job opportunities in cities more than in the country areas. This definitely causes many people move to the city. Another reason is the educational resource. Take me as a real example, I had studied in two different universities because my parents changed their working places. One is in the countryside, which is lack of teacher resource, I even did not need to attend most of the courses due to there was no teacher to teach that course. Once I moved to the capital of my country, I started to realize that why people desperately want to move to the city to acquire better educational resources. Good quality of teaching resources, professional examination system, those definitely trigger more and more citizens to move to the city.

Secondly, the best and the most appropriate solution to solve over-populated issue is that the government should balance the employment and educational differentiation between urban and rural areas. By doing this, it might equal the chance of employment, people would like to stay and find an occupation in their hometown, which leads to reduce the over-populated and pollution in the city area. Furthermore, if the government would like to assign some good teachers to rural area and provide affluent salary, this would be another proper way to persuade citizens not to move to the city.

To sum up, the factors of overpopulation in the city and how to solve them are always a popular issue to discuss. I would like to restate that the imbalance of employment opportunity and educational resources are the main factors of it. However, I strongly believe that these two factors can be solved by the government well-arranged resource management between city and country.

Maria - / 1,100 389  
Nov 1, 2019   #2
@roswita116
Hi. Thanks for consistently being in the forum. I hope that this feedback helps you!

I appreciate the approach you had implemented in writing the first paragraph. This portion was compact, and yet it gave a great idea to the readers on what to anticipate.

I think that what you can do to improve the body paragraphs would be to focus on prioritizing information. This paragraph was packed with unnecessary details that may be inessential in the long-run. In this part, it is noticeable how you had integrated quite repetitive thought processes, making your writing appear to be rather flimsy. Try to focus more on what precisely they should anticipate in your messages.

Furthermore, the third paragraph also needs to be treated with the same regard. However, on top of it, I recommend trying to substantiate here with more concrete data to help your readers understand the grounded nature of your arguments.

Best of luck.
OP roswita116 16 / 37 17  
Nov 3, 2019   #3
Hi, Maria. Thank you so much for always giving me valuable advice.😁😁 I really appreciated.

Next time I will try to prioritize my ideas and make them more persuadable. Furthermore, I will try to read some related essay to acquire some knowledge so that it may help me to support my ideas in my writing.😁😁


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