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Overweight now is becoming a serious health threat globally


IqbalThemi 44 / 46 13  
Jun 29, 2015   #1
Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

An obvious issue of obesity today is becoming a serious health threat. As far as I am concerned, the cause of this is more and more citizens feel comfortable with their sedentary lifestyle and prefer fast food as their routine consumption, which result a higher risk of disease for them such as coronary heart disease, diabetes and cancer. To solve the problem, I would argue that to educate children eating healthy food will arouse individuals' self-conscious to come up with changing their unhealthy eating food. Meanwhile, encouraging societies to run physical exercise regularly are another viable solution to enhance a way of healthy life.

First of all, improving children's knowledge of how important consume healthy food as a vital aspect of perfect health. To illustrate of this, if all of parents and teachers are in charge of children to be well-educated and well-informed about healthy eating habit, this will ensure the children to be more likely to eat vegetables and drink considerably less sugary beverages. As a result, this approach absolutely encourages the children to respect for their own bodies.

Then, another an important factor for weight loss is exercising efficiently and high-intensity. This is because by running mental exercise far intensive will boosts HGH production, which is truly essential for well-being health, fitness and weight management. Again, this pattern also is going to raise heart health rate in long run. In addition to this, with high regularly exercise and adding a healthy diet will be an effective fat-burning machine to restore an excellent health normally. Last but not least, this will prevent a deadly disease such as cardiac arrest for blood circulation system in human body can be normal function.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that parents and teachers play an important role in solving this problem through having control their children over growing time, whilst persons' awareness to plan exercise program regularly will excel this case to reach an optimal solution. Therefore, I would recommend that government should take charge of the problem like to restrict advertising fast-food industry which is exposed massively on television, so that either parents or teachers can maximize in educating the children to protect consuming a danger food.

justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jun 30, 2015   #2
- Then, another an important factor for weight loss is exercising efficiently andwith high-intensity.

- Again, this pattern also is going to raise heart health rate in the long run.

- In addition to this, with high regularly exercise and adding a healthy diet will beis an effective fat-burning machine to restore an excellent health normally .

- Last but not the least, this will prevent a deadly disease such as cardiac arrest for blood circulation system in human body can be normal function.

- The aforementioned evidence reveals that parents and teachers play an important role in solving this problem throughby having control of their children over growing time,

- whilst persons' awareness to plan an exercise program regularly will excel this case to reach an optimal solution.

- Therefore, I would recommend that the government should take charge of the problem like to restrict advertising fast-food industry which is exposed massively on television,

- so that either parents or teachers can maximize in educating the children toand protect them from consuming a dangerous food.

Iqbal, I did a couple of paragraphs on your essay. One thing that I notice in the end was, you being subjective and blaming the government in this Obesity issue, as a writer, you have to be objective all the time, because believe me, if you go global and a certain institution or entity reads your essay blaming the government, you will be in much bigger trouble than obesity. Be objective. Voice out your opinion but never blame.

Also, mind the following;

- linking verbs

- grammar

- proof read

- sentence construction

Keep writing

Cheers


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