IELTS TASK 2 ON OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE AND ROLE OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION TO TACKLE THE OBESITY PROBLEM

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is undeniable that overweight people increasing in number leads to more pressure on the medical sector. In order to tackle the problem, some suggest having more physical education in the student's system. While this might be helpful to some extent, I do not think this is an efficient solution.

First of all, while exercising is proven to be a beneficial method to lose weight, it needs to be paired with a balanced diet and changes in one's eating habit. In that perspective of linking eating habits with weight loss, not only school but also parents have to monitor and alter their children's behaviour when it comes to food. It is true for many people that binge eating relieves stress, hence it is necessary for parents to avoid putting too much strain on their children. Moreover, they could teach their children to deal with stress using numerous ways that do not include excessive eating like writing or listening to calm music.

Additionally, as a large number of people who are overweight do not belong in school, the change in the school schedule would be meaningless for them. A lot of them are office workers who lead stressful lives and spend countless hours sitting motionless in front of computers. Unlike children who are generally healthy, the problem of being overweight causes adults to have many side effects, including high blood cholesterol, high blood pressure, which in turn can lead to heart attacks or strokes. As a consequence, they are the main contributor of increasing pressure on the healthcare system.

In conclusion, the overweight situation cannot be improved by simply adding more physical education. If we want to ensure healthier lives and create less pressure on the healthcare system, it might be a great idea to encourage both better eating and exercising habits of everyone, at every age.

Since you are not being asked to verify the validity of the presented opinion, you should avoid saying things like "It is undeniable". That is a personal opinion so it shoujld be placed in the correct section of the paragraph, which is the writer's opinion. Do not place such statements in the restatement since that part needs to reflect only the provided information, based on your understanding, to the reader.


You are not being asked to measure the extent of the public opinion, you are to quantify your personal opinion in this case.

These are 2 serious errors that will negatively affect your preliminary task accuracy score. The mistakes in presentation and response will pose major point deductions that may lead to the failure of the essay score in the end. You have not provided the correct response format throughout the essay.

There are some spelling and grammatical mistakes that I noticed:
overweight people increasing in number leads => lead ( because the subject is a plural noun)
the student's system => the student system
not only school but also parents => schools ( should be written in plural)
contributor of => contributor to