The owner of a company is focused primarily to make his company getting more benefits

The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree or disagree?

In this modern era, there are many companies that have existed and growth. It happens because the owner is focus to make his company getting more benefits. However, I tend to disagree because lots of the other attention things must to do besides business itself.

Giving the best effort is very essential for someone who have business and want to get plenty of money. People need to discipline and concentrate only in specific aspect. Also, the effect is that customers will trust their business and buy everything that they sell. As a result, they will earn much money because of hard-working and focus on purpose. For instance, in the past McDonald was small shop that sold little food. Because the owner had good spirit and focus on his restaurant, he could get a lot of incomes. Thus, people must do everything maximally and only focus with one specific thing especially for doing a business.

Many things that companies need to focus on, such as social, environment, and the condition of their employee itself. The company cannot focus only to get much money, they have to remember about social effect which is very important to deal with. For instance, Pertamina has an activity to give a donation near the office to help poor people life better than before. So, companies do not have to focus only about getting money, but they have to understand about people who have given contribution to the company and it is better to share happiness to many people.

To sum up, getting lots of money is essential for companies, but they have to thing about another aspect. In my opinion, I think company will grow quickly if they have awareness with other people and do not only thing about benefit for their company.

Hi Mardian..
Below are my suggestions to finalize your essay


IT HAPPENS BECAUSE THE OWNER FOCUS ON MAKING HIS COMPANY MORE BENEFITS.
you have to remember that each sentence only has one main verb.

... attention things must to do BE CONDUCTED, EXCEPT besides THE business itself.

Turning to the body paragraph, I am gonna concentrate on the contents. Honestly, your explanation did not answer the question. The statement asked you to decide your position, agreement or disagreement. I know that your first paragraph reviewed about the disagreement. However, you were only likely to elucidate the ways to get more money.




You should display the intro which can show your position.
HOWEVER, MY VANTAGE POINT IS LIKELY TO THINK THAT THE COMPANY IS SUPPOSED TO DIVIDE CONCENTRATION TO A FEW SECTORS SUCH AS SOCIAL......


You cannot merge two sentences without the conjunction



Avoid repetition and pay attention to collocation. "FOCUS ON"


THEREFORE, the companies do
(there you need the linking word, not the conjunction)

Hopefully, those can help you to enhance your skill
Keep writing
GOOD LUCK